The Misadventures of Merlalu

Jump! jump! jump!

2010-05-17T13:46:00.001+08:00

Okay, so even if I'm somewhat of a love scrooge and skeptical when it comes to romantic love, I'm still a hopeless romantic. Contradicting huh? Well, I'm contradiction personified (or sometimes I think).

I don't really like reading romance novel because I do not believe in the concept of love it portrays sometimes. The protagonists meet, argue, fall in love, have steamy sex then they set sail to happily ever after land. Who believes in that anyway? Okay, so maybe there are a lot of people out there who buys that. But not me. I can't help but roll my eyes everytime I find myself reading romance novels. Especially at the part where one of the protagonists realizes that he/she is in love with the other protagonist. And this happened in a span of what? A week or two of knowing each other? And together forever's already written in their faces?

Although I concede with the idea of love at first sight. But years ago. I didn't believe in that. So what changed my mind? It's not because I fell in love at first sight. No, no, no, no. It's because I read a scientific study about that. It prooved that love at first sight can happen because of a chemical we have in our brain. But even though I don't like romance novels, I do like watching romantic comedies. As in i like it a lot!

One reason why I like watching korean series so much is because their romcom series are really funny and fun to watch. It's refreshing and not like the typical Filipino drama series. So it's so irrititating when local TV networks remake korean series. Saying that those networks butchered the series' story is an understatement. Grrrr....

Ay grabe! lumilipad na naman tarin of thoughts ko haha. This entry was supposed to be about romance novel. Then it jumped in to korean series haha.

nosey nosey

2010-04-28T07:47:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I think my olfactory sense is on a haywire.

Since I moved in to a different work station, I've been smelling or imaginining to smell bad odors. Odors here doesn't necessarily mean body odor. Sometimes I think I smell poo or garbage. It's weird and it disturbs me. I don't really know if I'm the only one smelling things or if my colleagues are getting a whiff of that smell too. It also makes me paranoid. Sometimes I think "what if my colleagues can smell that too?" and "what if they think that the smell is coming from me?".

Anyway, whatever! =D

observing and eavesdropping

2010-02-23T09:41:00.009+08:00

When I travel or walk I tend to think a lot of things. Sometimes my facial expression changes depending on what I am thinking. So I always have to be mindful of my facial expressions. Because people might think that I'm a crazy lady roaming around. But more often than not, my thoughts are interrupted by my surroundings. It is because I notice and hear some things that's just too hard to pass.

One time as I was going home from work, I saw a man standing amidst a crowd. He was talking on his mobile phone loudly. As I come near him I heard him say "Tita na sa Pampanga pa ako. Wala ako sa Manila. Sa next Monday pa balik ko ng Manila." As he was saying that I noticed people were giving him a funny look. Everyone who heard him knows that he is bluffing since he's standing on the walkway connecting Landmark and Greenbelt 5. it was so funny and I wanted to shout "Kuya na sa Landmark, Makati ka!" but of course I didn't. Haha.

And last month I saw an old man holding a large magnifying glass over his mobile phone. Talk about needing an eyeglass teehee. And I'm sure everyone who saw that would suggest he drop the magnifying glass and get eyeglasses. But what do I know? A magnifying glass is cheaper than eyeglasses.

Ooohh... And just this week I heard and saw many interesting things. Hmmm... Yesterday as I was going home I overheard two friends (two girls to be exact) talking about family problems. I swear I tried not to listen but my inner chismosa got the best of me! I swear I really tried! So anyway, I felt bad for one of the girls. She wasn't able to review for her finals because her grandmother and mother were at her neck breathing fire of tirades on how she should treat people older than her. And earlier this week as I was waiting for the train to arrive I noticed a life size doll with green hair sitting on the stairs. I did a double take on that because it's not everyday you see a life size doll with green hair wearing candy-striped shirt and a bit on the emo side right? Well the "doll" moved and it strucked me that she is not a doll. The "doll" girl really stood out and people kept on loking at her. I mean who wouldn't stand out especially if you have green hair right? But I envy that girl. She have guts to dye her hair green. If given the chance I want to have blue hair.

Sana may money tree

2010-02-16T10:19:00.007+08:00

Bakit habang tumatanda mga tao lalong nagiging komplikado ang buhay? Nung mas bata pa ako ang tingin ko ang komplikado ng buhay ng isang bata. Ngayon naman naisip ko na ang simple lang pala ng buhay dati.

Dati masaya na ako pag may limang piso ako. Ang dami ko ng mabibili sa limang piso. Ngayon, kulang pa ang limang piso para pamasahe sa jeep. Di ko masyado naisip nung bata ako na mahirap makakuha ng pera. Hihingi lang ako kila mama o lola may pera na ako. Samantala ngayon di na ako makahingi ng pera sa kanila. Sila na ang kailangang bigyan ng pera. Kung alam ko lang nung bata ako na di pala ganun kadali magkapera sana dati pa naisipan ko na mag ipon at magtipid.

Sa panahon ngayon pera talaga ang nag papaikot ng mundo. Kung wala kang pera magugtom ka, di ka din makakapag-aral sa magandang eskwelahan, walang pangtustos sa pangaraw-araw na pangangailangan atbp. Sabi nga nila ang may pera nag iisip kung paano pa magkakapera at ang walang pera naman ay nag iisip kung paano gagastusin ang pera. Nakakatawa pero totoo.

Sa totoo lang naiinis ako dahil pinakumplika ng pera ng buhay.

The red day

2010-02-15T12:37:00.004+08:00

A week before Valentine's Day, news and articles kept coming up about love, romantic getaways, gift suggestions and everything and anyhting that one could associate with the red V-Day. For a person who is not in a relationship, V-Day could only be called as the "Single Awareness Day". Some single people may dread it, some treat it lke a normal day and some celebrate special ocassions in this day.

When I was little, I used to view Valentine's Day as a day where lovers can be extra sweet and lovable to their significant others. It is a day where people give chocolates and flowers. A day where lovers date in the mall or at the park. But as I grew older, V-Day became less extraordinary. Just like my birthday and any other ocassion it became an ordinary day. It's not because I'm sigle or anything, it's just that things got so mundane. Or maybe I am just jaded. But if I ever find myself in a relationship maybe V-Day won't be just an ordinary day. But right now, I find it ridiculous to be extra sweet and loving to your loved one just because it's Valentines Day. People can be super sweet and loving any day they want to. But why Valentine's Day? I blame it all on those capitalists also known as greeting card companies and other companies who capitalize on V-Day haha. But I think they should also capitalize Feb. 14 as "Single Awareness Day" because it would also generate some profit. Not every single ladies and men are envious of peple who are in love. And those people won't be ashamed to celebrate "Single Awareness Day". Maybe I should draft a business plan and pitch this plan to companies haha.

Actually, Valentine's Day can be celebrated by people not included in the primary target market of those capitalists. Families or friends can go out, dine out, go to mass since it's St. Valentine's feats day, climb a moutain ike what my friend did, watch a movie or d what ever that'll make you happy. Valentine's Day isn't just for lovers or for single people who are made aware of their singleness. It's for everyone who knows how to love and be loved.

Belated St. Valentine's Day everyone! May love be with each and everyone always.

I learned...

2009-09-24T10:30:00.003+08:00

It's no secret that I still harbor bitter feelings with my former boss. There are so many things that I don't like about him. And it'll take hours to list down all those things. But even if I suffered mental and emotional stress because of him, I can't deny the fact that I learned a lot from him. He might be an egotistical sly dementor kind of boss but you'll learn from him.

While working at his company I learned to value my time. We were always being lectured about time management and staying ahead of the curve. Walk and chew gum as he would often say. Meaning, multitask. I learned how to alot time for each item in my daily(detailed day to day work) and weekly(general and important work) schedule.

One of the most important thing I learned from him was do not pass the blame and own your mistake. He said that people wouldn't learn if they keep on blaming others. I was relatively new when I was tasked to order papers from our supplier. Since I was new and I didn't know the supplier I asked a colleague to help me order some papers. Turned out, he ordered the wrong brand of paper which was also super thin that we were not able to use it. I was horrified because money was wasted and because I know we will talk about it in our staff meeting. I owned up for that mistake. I realized that I was part of that mistake. I may not be the one who ordered those papers but I didn't check if my colleague ordered the right ones. I was just disappointed that my cplleague didn't even acknowledged his mistake and just laughed at what happened.

The lessosn I learned from him are valuable. There are still other lessons but I'm too lazy to write more so there. ;p

MRT Characters

2009-08-27T09:00:00.008+08:00

Since I started working I've been riding the MRT every morning to go to work. It's the safest and fastest mode of transportation in the Metro. And God knows how happy I was when the MRT started to operate at 4am-12 midnight. The only thing I dread about riding the MRT is the rush hour. The platform turns in to a battlefield during rush hour. Also, going in and out of the train during rush hour is a struggle. I've heard a lot of different stories from friends about riding the MRT during rush hour. Some were funny and amusing while some are not so good. I've seen people become fierce and violent just to get inside the train. Everyday I hear people shouting at each other especially at Cubao station. Without a doubt the most fierce MRT riders are from Cubao station.

In more than a year riding the MRT I've notice certain types of people riding the train.

Bayani- these are the few people who are willing to give their seat to the elderly, a parent carrying his or her small child, pregnant women, and the disabled.
Manhid or the Blind- this type is the opposite of Bayani. Obviously, they couldn't care less if a pregnant woman or an elderly is having a hard time standing up while traveling.
Pushers- Ang mga pusher ang tagatulak ng bato. No this is not the illegal thingy. The pushers will push and push people especially the "bato" type of people so they can ride the train. Sometimes the meekest rider can turn in to a Pusher if needed.
Bato- Syempre kung may pusher may mga bato na dapat itulak. But like what I stated on item three, this is not the illegal stuff. Eto yung mga taong tinubuan na yata ng ugat sa kinatatayuan nila at di sila gagalaw or aalis sa kinatatayuan nila. This is the sub-type of manhid. They wouldn't even care whether they are blocking the way or hindering people from getting in or out of the train. Bato sila at di sila gagalaw sa pwesto nila unless maging pusher ka at itulak sila.
Surot- A surot is a type of insect that likes to hide in small places like a crack on a wooden floor or bed. This insect typically comes out at night and suck blood from people. Unlike the insect, the surot type passenger doesn't suck blood nor they only ride the train at night. Eto yung mga tao na mahilig sumiksik kahit wala ng masiksikan. Sometimes no matter how big this surot type of person is, he or she will still be able to cramp his or herself in a small space.
Magnetized- This is the type that is strongly attracted to the vertical pole or bar inside the train. Kahit gaano kaluwag sa gitna, makikipagkumpulan ang mga magnetized sa may door dahil nandun ang pole or vertical bar. This is a cross breed of manhid and bato. Care nila kung hinaharangan nila ang entrance at di makapasok yung ibang pasahero or di makalabas ang ibang tao. Masyado sila attracted sa pole eh, ayaw na nila itong bitawan hangga't di sila bababa.
Leaner- This is the level up version of magnetized crossed with manhid. Because a leaner loves the pole so much, he or she will not let other people hold on to it. He or she will lean on it. As in yung buong likod niya nakalapat sa vertical bar. The leaner wouldn't even care if people are already holding on to the pole. He or she will still lean on it. As a result the leaner wouldn't only be leaning on the pole but on to people's hand as well. Talk about being insensitive.
Confused- The confused type belongs to the male population only. No they are not confused about their sexuality. Rather, these men are not senior citizens, disabled, companion of a little child or a pregnant woman. These are men below 60 years old and they try to get in the first cart of the train. We all know that the first cart is for women, disabled and the elderly only. But sometimes yung mga makukulit eh magpupumilit pa din para lang makasakay agad.

From the list, what I don't like the most are the leaner and manhid. But I can be a pusher type if I'm not in the mood to be nice and I can be a bayani type if I'm feeling generous.

Just ranting

2009-07-26T17:17:00.003+08:00

Paranoia is kicking in again.

It's because I'm liking something right now and I'm afraid that it'll be taken away abruptly. I know this is the paranoid me thinking. And I've been paranoid since I can remember. I don't wnt to be like this. It really makes me restless.

For my peace of mind, I'll try my hardest to be more positive.God is good, always.

Pet hate...

2009-07-17T08:13:00.005+08:00

I'm a complainer by nature. Complaining and ranting relieves me from stress somehow. It's like an outlet, a channel through which I can let out all of my frustrations and hang ups in life. So it's no surprise that I have so many pet peeves. From the most mundane things to the more serious ones. Below are some of my pet peeves.

Mispelling of my name. I know my whole name is so hard to pronounce much more to spell. I don't know why but i really can't stop myself from telling people to spell my name with double 'n'. Strange but if people spell my name as Merlynjer, it's not as bad when people spell one of my nick names Merlynn with single 'n'.
People spitting anywhere and when ever they need to. I really cringe when I see people spit on the streets or any public areas. It's so unhygienic. Argh.
It really ticks me off when my brother doesn't return my books where he got it. I'm a bookworm and i treasure my books. So I don't like it when I see one of my books littering around our house.
Walking while it's raining. Main reason why I hate it is because of the idea of contacting all the dirt and germs on the wet road.
When people wake me up by screaming. It really makes me grumpy and angry in the morning.

Those are just some of my pet peeves. And I really get irritated easily so the list goes on and on.

All by myself....

2009-07-16T11:12:00.005+08:00

When i was younger i used to abhor the idea of eating alone in any restaurant. The idea itself was so repulsive that I really can't see myself alone, eating in one corner with no one to talk to. Eating alone would mean that you're a loner with no friends and you look kawawa all by yourself. But as years go by and as I get older, I realized that eating alone is not as bad as I think it would be. I discovered that eating alone can be liberating. It's like shedding your dependent side and it shows that you are not afraid to be alone. That being alone is okay and you don't need other people to get by. I'm not saying that we don't need other people because I also belive that no man is an island. But in life people need to learn how to be all by themselves.

Recently I had this conversation with a friend. She told me that people eating alone looks like an "abnoy" (weird) person. Of course I told her that eating alone is not as bad as she think it was. It's just that she's so concious with her surrounding that a passing glance from someone would mean so many different things for her. When I was younger I'd be so concious when other people would look or spare a glance at me. I would feel like there was something wrong with me or if I have dirt on my face. It's really uncomfortable when other people and strangers look at you. But one day I just stopped caring if other people were looking at me. It just happened. I woke up one day and I couldn't care less if I'm all alone in one corner eating by myself. I discovered that doing things on your own is not really that bad. It was like freeing yourself from you. I also realized that when I'm alone, I'm more at peace with everything around me. I can think things through without any influence from other people.

It takes time before one can get used to eating alone. Besides I'm such a foodie and i wouldn't pass up an opportunity to eat even if I'm alone.

from labidabs blog

2009-07-14T13:59:00.002+08:00

Gaya-gaya from Lab's blog.
Source: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Recognition day

2009-07-01T08:44:00.004+08:00

It's a late reaction but goodness! He was gone too soon.

I was a senior kindergarthen student when I first heard the song 'Heal the World' by Michael Jackson. It was the song we used for our SK graduation. Each student had a role to play while singing along with the song. Some students were playing doctors, teachers, nurse, poverty stricken people etc. I played as one of the poverty stricken people. Pulubi in other words. For our costume, our teacher instructed us to wear unruly clothes with holes and dirt. My grandmother prepared my costume and I was satisfied with it. Come graduation day, one of my fellow 'pulubi' classmate told me that I don't look like a pulubi. She continued saying that the holes in my costume looked like it was designed to look sosyal. Though my costume looked sosyal and it doesn't fit the part I'm supposed to portray, I still played my part with enthusiasm. I still remember how everything looked so white on the stage, students singing along the song and during that time heal the world was one of my favorite songs.

It's so sad that MJ's gone. He is an icon. And every time I hear his heal the world song, i can't help but remember fond memories of my kindergarthen days. I am not one of his fans but I can't help feeling this tremendous loss. I was also anticipating his comeback concert even though I will not be able to watch it.

It's really sad. He was gone too soon.

My beloved baby

2009-06-17T10:44:00.007+08:00

In less than a month the third annual Asian Publishing Convention (APC) will be held in Manila, Philippines. APC will always be one of my babies even though I will never be a part of the organizing team ever again.

APC was my first event wherein I am part of the core team. I was the delegate services coordinator and my main task was to take care of the needs of the delegates 'from womb to tomb' (as what my boss told me). Prospecting delegates was also one of my function in the team. Being the DSC was not easy especially for an event that doesn't really appeal to prospect delegates. It was so hard to get delegates even though we were giving free seats to those who register two delegates from one company. But even if there were so many hardships and hurdles along the way, APC was a success.

I have only fond memories of APC. Everything bad that had happened prior and during the event became blurred and I can't even remember some things that had happened. The APC memory file in my brain was probably overwritten by 'APC good memories only' file. I will not forget meeting my delegates, persuading people to fill out the feedback form, running back and forth from the reg booth to the secretariat, sharing stories with my very good student assistant, waking up so early in the morning, eating granola bars, meeting Jim and her husband, going to China Town, Esplanade and Sentosa, watching an Indian movie in the wee hours of the night, crying because of anger and riding the super cool interconnected trains of Singapore and cable cars.

Compared to other events that we handled last year, being the DSC of APC was relatively easy onsite compared to other events. I was lucky to have an understanding event manager (Tintin), very accomodating program coordinator (Ktin), my favorite awards coordinator (Jemah), the friendly media and PR coordinator (Shawn), my coffee maker IT guy (Warren) and my rolling on the bathroom floor DSC assistant (Grace) and the student assistants who made our lives easy (can't remember all their names).

(AP 2008 Team)

I hope the AP 2009 team will have a blast during the event this coming July. All the hardships and stress you've experienced this past few months will fade away once the event is over. I have only good wishes and prayers for all of you. Go AP '09 Team! Go! Go! Go! Aja!

Bad dream

2009-05-09T01:46:00.004+08:00

I dreamt of losing teeth again. This time I didn't just lost five or four, I lost my whole teeth. In my dream my teeth involuntarily grinded each other. At first it was okay until the grinding became faster and faster. I noticed one of my teeth might fall off so I tried my best to stop the grinding. Lo and behold! After the grinding stop all of my tooth fell off except the one tooth I thought will fall out initially. I was so scared in my dream and I went to this doctor. But before the doctor sees me I woke up. Dreaming of a tooth being detached to your gums has a super bad meaning. Up until now I am still scared at the implications of that dream.

Of course the narration above is the shortened version of my dream. I'm starting to fear sleeping again.

Just my opinion

2009-05-08T01:45:00.003+08:00

Aside from the swine flu, typhoon Emong and Pacman's victory against Hatton what else interests Filipinos nowadays? Well, it' non other but Martin Nievera's rendition of Lupang Hinirang.

I grew up singing the Lupang Hinirang every morning before classes starts. The tone, tempo and pitch is engraved in my heart. That is why every time I hear singers sing Lupang Hinirang differently my left eyebrow really goes up. It' not only Mr. Nievera that had sung Lupang Hinirang differently but other singers as well. Out of the singers that sung Lupang Hinirang in Paquiao's fight, Kyla's rendition was the best.

I'm really frustrated with this issue regarding the right way to sing the Philippine's National Anthem. Every fight walang palya ibang version na naman ang maririnig mo. Sometimes I wonder what other nationalities watching were thinking about our national anthem. Because they hear different versions every time Paquiao has a fight. And personally I think it doesn't show unity and respect for the country. I bet Filipinos watching the fight were confused and a little bit thrown off when they heard the Lupang Hinirang last sunday at Paquiao's fight.

Singing the National Anthem in front of other nationalities is indeed a priviledge and an honor. People should sing it the way it's supposed to be. I understand that Mr. Nievera just want to deliver an athem that would make Filipinos proud. But it's not a song to show vocal prowess. I myself didn't like it. It was so different that I actually cringed while listening to it. No offense to Mr. Nievera. I actually like him as a singer.

Argh! It's really frustrating why can't Filipinos just sing one version of the Lupang Hinirang.

Some reflections

2009-04-14T01:59:00.002+08:00

Over the holiday, I realized some things while watching some Lenten show specials. I realized that I can't let things go off that easily. I hold on. I try to repress my emotions simply because it is not me to be angry, melancholic or emo. But I can be hateful at times, not in the true sense of being hateful though. It takes a very long time for me to accept things and let it go. I am still learning. Learning to accept changes in life and let go.

Argh!

2009-04-06T23:08:00.002+08:00

Why do I feel so hateful and resentful right now. It seems like I'm in a roller coaster of a mood swing. Yes I am moody but not hateful and resentful. I don't like this feeling and I feel bad that I feel this way.

Random musing...

2009-03-31T00:46:00.004+08:00

I haven't ranted here for a long time now. So here's one.

***

Every summer I complain about the hot temperature without fail. I always tell a friend that the whole Philippines should have a cooler/air con. But last year I didn't feel the hotness that much. Maybe because I was cooped in a place called 'office' which is air conditioned. Anyway I felt the summer heat's full force this morning. It was so hot I had problems with my breathing and I felt a little bit faint.

***

The paranoia is kicking in again. Last month our very malambing cat scratched my left thigh. And being the semi-hypohondriac that I am, I was scared I might get rabies from that simple scratch. So anyway, I felt light headed the other day (i think this is due to the hotness of that day), felt stinging pain in my left thigh and had short breaths for most of the day (again I blame this on the hot temperature). I thought 'oh my! are these symptoms of rabies?'. But getting rabies from a scratch is rare. It's just a case of paranoia.

***

The weather's so weird this week. Just lat monday it was scorhing hot! It was almost unbearably hot to the point I felt faint and kinda out of breath. But yesterday was a surprise. It rained for a while. And the relatively warm-ish/cool-ish temperature ontinued until yesterday. Oh it's raining outside by the way.

***

I miss them. My OIC friends. Next time I'll remind myself not to look at our photos. It makes me miss them like hell.

***

If being serious and ready means feeling like time is running out, then i want to feel laid back again. I so hate this feeling. Feeling like there's a timer set in front of me and I'm running out of time. I'm beginning to feel rushed. Goodness I really need something to keep me preoccupied.

***

The weird dreams are coming back... again. It's the kind of dream that scares me and makes me think. There was a time I felt scared by just sleeping. I was scared that those weird dreams will come back. The weird dreams were very rampant when I was still drawing. Sometimes I think if my dreaming and drawing were related or just a case of pent-up creative juices materializing as a weird dream.

***

Please let me have it.

Wow late reaction din

2009-03-15T03:20:00.004+08:00

It's 3:30 in the morning and I have nothing to do. Just to entertain myself, I looked at some old pictures taken almost a year ago. And gad! nostalgia came crushing like a wave to the shore. I suddenly missed the people from OIC.

I still remember the first thing that came to my mind the first time I met them. "Wow they're all so young". They all looked like fresh out from college. At first I was shy and reserve. I remember calling some of them Ma'am or miss and in return they'll tell me to call them in their first name. As months passed we came to know more about each other. They're all so nice. Kinda like the ates and kuyas I never had.

Little by little the people I've come to know and grew very fond of started leaving one by one. The first to leave us were Mommy and Tutchi. I was very sad when they left. It was like taking away something away, like a brand new doll. A brand new doll that you adore and would like to spend more time with, share bedtime stories, be with you just because. It really tore my heart to see them go so soon. But I understand that they want to look for greener pastures and catch their dreams and make it finally come true. Then months later Emil our accountant/admin/expo coordinator left us. It really surprised me that Emil would leave us. But then again, he knew his priorities. And then, funny man/IT guy/graphic artist Warren followed those who left before him. He went for a truly greener pasture. And based from what I saw, he looks content and happy with his new work. Pancho the new IT guy who was supposed to replace Warren left so soon. Come to think of it, 2 week after Warren finally left Pancho followed suit. It's just not his cuo of tea. We've come to know him for only a short time but he really is helpful. He was able to put up with my ramblings and pagtataray. And really, I can't remember shouting at him and if ever I did, I just wish I didn't.

Three months later, six OIC workers called it quits to give way to new experience and adventure. Guess who's one of them?

Goodness I miss them so.

The hypochondriac strikes again

2009-03-03T14:53:00.005+08:00

Darn! Our cat Maliksi scratched my left leg (the thigh part). He settled on my lap because he wanted to be petted. When I thought that he already had enough petting, I tried to move him down on the floor. Just as I was lifting him, he suddenly tried to grab my left leg scratching me in the process. And being the paranoid-semi-hypochondriac that I am, I immediately thought that I might get rabies from his scratch. Goodness! Despite the fact the 2 of friends already assured me that I won't get any rabies from that scratch well I still have my reservations. Although it's rare to acquire rabies via a sratch, still who knows if his nails and paws has his saliva on it.

Gaaaaaddddd!!! If anyhting happens blame it all on the cat.

Nice boys and girls please stand up

2009-02-25T16:24:00.004+08:00

Mommy this is all your fault and your blog entry about nice guys!

Yes, nice guys finish last. Same goes for the good girls out there. But sometimes I think that nice guys are the mediocre type of person as well as the nice girls. Why be the nice one, wait for the person you like and finish last? Why not do something about it?

hmmm...

sand man

2009-02-10T00:26:00.002+08:00

I've never realized the joys of having an early night sleep until now. I've become a nocturnal creature. Now I wait, count time until sleep would finally claim my conciousness.

A hermit

2009-02-05T00:41:00.003+08:00

I soooooooooo soooooooooo haaaaaatttttteeeeee myself right now! I want to scream at myself for being such a soft hearted type of person. I really find it hard to say no to people who needs my help even strangers! Abby, a friend of mine told me that not being able to say no to people is one of my weaknesses. I never really noticed that I find it hard to say no to people until Abby pointed it out.

I want to cry buckets of tears right now and bawl myself out. No matter how I look at what had recently transpired, I just can't get rid of this feeling of loss. A loss of Php. 6650 to be exact. Now I want to receive my credit card bill and pay the due amount as soon as possible. I know I asked for some drive to find a new job and stop lazing around the house. But I never thought that that drive will come in as an endowment plan.

Now I feel so pressured to find work as soon as possible because I have an endowment plan to pay (though I plan to call them and inform them that I won't be able to pay until I find work), a pagudpud trip on summer and my savings not getting anywhere I wanted it to be.

So from this day forward I'm OFFICIALLY A HERMIT until I find a work. So with a heavy heart I have to say so long to shopping, foods, gimmicks and books temporarily.

This is such a bummer. :(

now what?

2009-02-03T02:45:00.002+08:00

I shouldn't be envious. In fact I'm not! It's just that deep down there's this nagging feeling that it would've been me. Should've been me. I don't even know why I'm blogging about this. What the heck! I'm very confuse right now. Don't even bother understanding this entry.

somewhere out there...

2009-02-02T00:48:00.004+08:00

My first love is advertising. I fell in love with it the moment Mr. Estrella introduced it to us. And for one gruelling year it became my life, the center of my universe. Nothing matters more than advertising. I knew advertising was what I want to do. I was made to create ads with a 'whaaaapppppaaaakkkk!!' feel to it.

After graduation, I strayed for awhile from the path I wanted to take. But after a month or so, I was again intent on getting a job in an ad agency. Sad thing is, I lack the heart to continue when the very thing I wanted the most is already in front of me. Yes I am a coward. I hesitate to grab opportunities presented to me. And before I know it, the very thing I dreamed of is out of my sight. Doubt always get the better of me. I doubt myself, I lack confidence but most of all, I am afraid to fail. The fear of failing makes bring out the worst in me. It stops me from doing things I want to do. The truth is, I am my own enemy. I am the biggest obstacle in achieving my dream. But little by little, I am learning face my fears.

And so, after my short stint at a call center company and seven months after graduation, I found myself working at an events company. If there's one thing I hated the most back in college it would be mounting an event. I remember how tiring planning and executing an event was. But lo and behold! Who would have thought I'd end up as an events assistant huh? To tell the truth, I was blinded by the opportunity to travel abroad. That's the sole reason why I wanted the job. I want to travel you know. While working at the events company, somewhere along the way I lost most of myself. Gone was the optimistic me. My smiles turned to frowns. I easily snapped at people. Halfway through 2008, I realized that my work was not healthy for me. The more I learned how much I changed, the more I wanted out. You see, it's not a good change for me. I became someone I don't like especially when it comes to work. I prided myself with getting a work done on time. A good work at that. But at work, it seems like no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try it's still not good enough. And the fear to fail became stronger than before. He says that it's okay to make mistakes. But he's such a contradictory fellow. Make a mistake, then you're branded for life. He will not remember all the good things you have done but the mistakes you made. Honestly, up until now I still don't feel good about him. For all the sufferings and hurtful words and emails I received from him, the demoralization it'll take time to forget. Good thing about my previous work were the people. They sure made my work life less stressful. Such supportive people really made me happy. But more often than not, the unhappy times outweighs the happy times. So I decided to leave. It'll be good for me, for the people around me and espcially for him. Just the thought of leaving the company made me happy. A heavy burden in my heart was lifted. I felt liberated. I became more happy each day. And at last I'm out of that hell-ish work. But I must say, I really learned a lot from my experience in my past work.

Over the course of two years, I learned that to make something happen I have to take action. So slowly but surely, I am trying to take a step at a time towards my dream.

stranded

2009-01-30T00:22:00.003+08:00

Scared. Confuse. Stagnant.

My inner compass had gone haywire. And now I'm standing on a crossroad with a blank look on my face. I am super loss.

I don't know how to get there. So here I am standing still afraid to take a step.

speechless

2009-01-29T18:05:00.004+08:00

And so I heard that writing is not for me. I feel sad that some people think that way. But I'm thankful anyway because they're just being true to me. But still it hurts.

It's no secret that I want to be a writer and I want to write and have my own drama series one day. I may not be an expert in grammar, I may not really know how to play with words nor use big words but I do like writing.

I will try again and again to write. I'll continuously improve myself. In the end, all that really matter is what I want and I what I did to achieve it.

Bob Ong says...

2009-01-28T15:03:00.000+08:00

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."

2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."

7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."

9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."

15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala”

17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”

18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

19. "Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."

20. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

21. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."

Bored

2009-01-28T02:35:00.002+08:00

I'm so bored... And because of boredom I started exercising (hip hop abs to be exact). Doing hip hop abs makes me feel good. My muscles are stretched, I'm sweating and I feel so active. So maybe boredom can bring out good things. Like awhile ago, I was so bored I started doing yoga. Just the basic moves, position and the breathing exercise. I felt my muscles stretching and it felt so good.

I just hope I never get tired of hip hop abs and yoga.

confused... ~_~

2009-01-20T23:19:00.002+08:00

Again, I find myself standing on a crossroad. And honestly, I don't know which path to follow. I know where I want to go, I know what I want to do and yet I don't how to start.

For now I'm a drifter until further notice.

The Edward Cullen Fever

2009-01-15T02:52:00.005+08:00

Symptoms of Edward Cullen Fever:

You start wanting to have a drop dead gorgeous vampire for a boyfriend.
From a prince riding a white horse, the Prince Charming you've wanted for a long time suddenly became someone who is an impossibly beautiful vampire that can read your thoughts. And instead of the white horse, he drives a silver volvo.
You start wanting to have shiny swarovski skin.
You have the urge to play the piano like a virtuoso.
You have a violent reaction when you saw Rob Pattinson's new 'do.

If you have two or more symptoms mentioned above, then there is no doubt that you have been hit by the Edward Cullen fever.

I'm sorry for the Edward Cullen fanatics out there, but up until now it baffles me what makes girls go gaga over him. So what if he's impossibly beautiful, a superb pianist, drives a silver volvo and romantic? Maybe, it's because up until now many girls (not just the teens) still believes in a prince charming (okay... the love scrooge is emerging again). Or in this case, a vampire like prince charming in which people saw in Edward.

I've seen the movie and read the books but I still don't get it. He's just not my type maybe.

Curiosity killed that cat!

2009-01-14T03:03:00.005+08:00

So I was curious and searched the net for some information. But I swear I was not prepared to know the truth. Errr... scratch that, rather I was not prepared for what I saw.

I was listening to the morning rush and they mentioned about herpes. Yes herpes! The sexually transmitted disease. They mentioned that herpes does not go away (?) but remains dormant. So the curious kitty in me came out and searched the net about herpes. I should have known that curiosity killed the cat. I was not prepared to see herpes! I mean, herpes on the mouth and face I can handle but on the genitals? Ack! I still` cringe when I think about what I saw. I should have not scrolled down the page but well, curiosity got the better of me.

So be very very careful when you do the deed. Ack!

2008 Ride - Year in Review

2009-01-05T23:40:00.003+08:00

This is a very very late year in review entry...

2008 was a roller coaster ride. It was exciting, fun and scary. There were so many loops, uphills and downhills. And just when I thought that the ride was over, well let's just say I didn't see another loop ahead. Oh how many times have I wanted to stop the wild ride but I can't, I have to finish the ride.

2008 was a fruitful year. I learned alot and gained much treasured experience from here in the Philippines and abroad. I became less selfish or I would like to think so. There were also a lot of "first time" for me. I was able to travel abroad, the white water rafting at Ayung River, Bali, Indonesia and I met a lot of people from different country. It was a very hard year for me but it was fun.

Forget about the downhills of the ride. I just want to remember the uphills and the exciting yet scary loops of the roller coaster ride that was 2008.

Remembering...

2008-10-27T23:59:00.001+08:00

I came, I saw, I fell in love. Damn!

X-l

2008-09-11T13:21:00.002+08:00

WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS!!

So long and goodbye!!

Prayer

2008-08-24T23:11:00.002+08:00

Grabe nung akala ko na reach ko na ang limit ko, i'm proven wrong. Eto na naman!! At eto na naman yung feeling na ayaw ko na. Sobrang decided na ako na tumigil at maging irresponableng tao pero di ko naman magawa.

God, I believe in you. I aked to be where I am right now. You gave me what I asked for. There is a reason why I am here. I am having a very hard time and I know I deserve this. Please help me get through thi coming months. I've reached my lowest point and I'm still recovering from my own inflicted torments. Sometimes I don't know how to go on anymore. Please help me. Please guide me. I believe and trust in You.

AP (Araling Panglipunan)

2008-08-12T14:32:00.001+08:00

Uniquely Singapore.

Oo na sa Singapore kami ngayon ng AP Team. Wala naman ako masyado makwento except nakakabwisit mga delegates minsan lalo na sa mga last minute changes nila hay!! Yun lang hehe...

nakikigaya kay lizzie

2008-07-13T00:34:00.001+08:00

Statu....

2008-07-12T22:42:00.002+08:00

Hanging by a thread <-- my life's status until further notice.

Hay...

2008-07-07T19:01:00.002+08:00

What keeps me going?

I don't anymore.

I have to shake off this negative aura that's been surrounding me for the last few weeks. I have to cleanse myself and clear my mind. There's so many things going on that my brain and heart can't fully grasp the happenings around me.

I miss my old self. Saan na napunta yung batang laging nagsasabi na "Di si ___ ang magpapabagsak sa akin!" I miss me. The subtle fighter in me. The cheerful me. I want her back.

I had a chat with my colleague and she told me that instead of dwelling on the negative parts of my job, why shloudn't I do something to turn it around. And she's right! I had done that many times before in the past. But why am I finding it hard now? Well I just need to try my best. Stop thinking of the bad things that has not happened yet. Because the more you think about something, sometimes it becomes real. And I really want the best for every event. I don't want to give up. My mind tells me don't give up but my heart tells me otherwise. But since I am a logical person and emotion comes second, most likely I'll stay until I can finally go. I wonder when will that happen?

Basta aja!! go!! go!! go!! kaya ko to!! Ika nga ni Jasmin sa tagalized version ng My Girl, tira!! tira!!

More energy mas happy...

2008-07-06T22:22:00.002+08:00

work + metal stress + pressure + OT= unhappiness.

I am obviously not happy. I perfectly know the reason for this unhappiness. And I just want to get this over and done with. I'm so frustrated and all of the things happening around me is becoming to much to bear. There were days that I want to cry and scream for all its worth. Just to let it all out. And it's so sad because I'm not like this. I'm far from the girl I used to be. Gone was the optimistic and always smiling girl who loves to laugh. Now I'm glued to my chair, forever looking at the monitor. Dreading that I might have done something wrong again. I am forever fearful of the things that has not happened yet. And it depresses me. It dampens my soul. I don't want to be a gloomy workaholic person. The more hours I stay at work the more I long to break free. It' not healthy! For the past days I've been feeling neck and shoulder pain. There were times that I felt that my surrounding was spinning. I have to close my eyes to steady myself.

Hay masama na talaga ito... God help me please????

Long overdue letter...

2008-07-05T23:29:00.002+08:00

Huy miss kita. Minsan naaalala kita. Naiisip ko nga minan na sana joke lang ang lahat o kaya masamang panaginip.Na one day magigiing ako at nandyan ka pa din. Kasama namin mag mall, manood ng sine, videoke o kaya tumambay at magkwentuhan nkatulad ng dati. Sana lagi pa din tayo nagpapapicture at buo pa din tayo.

Nasabi ko ba sayo na love kita kahit lagi tayo nag aaway? uyyy... minsan lang ako magabi niyan kaya pakakatandaan mo tong post na to. Namimiss kita sobra. Sana naiiyak ko na ang lahat pero alam ko na hindi pa din. Biruin mo almost 4 years din ako in denial? Minsan may times na alam ko na wala ka na pero ayaw tanggapin ng puso ko. Naiiyak na nga ako habang ssinusulat ito eh. Alam mo naman na matagal ko na balak gawin to pero I'm not strong enough na ituloy to. Sana nandito ka. Alam mo ba si Glai na meet na si Ryan? Naabutan mo ba yun? Ayun nag-away daw sila ngayon kaya madrama ang status sa YM. Si Ariane naman graduate na din. Magexam na siya para makakuka ng lisensya sa pagtuturo. Si Zon bumalik na sa family niya at may bago ng bf. Member pa siya ng choir sa simbahan nila. Di na nga pala sila nakatira dun sa bahay nila sa Timog malapit na sila sa Cubao ngayon. Si Jaymie dalaga na huhuhu... di ako makapaniwala ang laki na niya at graduating na siya. Si Mellannie naman nagwowork na sa Smart. Ganoon pa din siya... super bait at huwarang ate. Minsan-minsan na lang kami magkita ngayon. Di kasi swak mga sched namin eh. Super demanding pa work ko, busy lahat ng tao. Sana kung nandito ka mas madami ang nakukulit ko na tao.

Sana kahit lagi tayo nag-aaway dati eh nafeel mo man lang na isa ka a mga tao na nagpasaya sa HS life ko. Kayong lahat nila Mel, Ariane, Zon, Glai at Jaymie. Kaya minsan gusto ko na HS ulit tayo... para nandun ka at les complicated ang buhay. Assignments, test projects ang madalas na problema. May naalala ako... remember mag 2nd year tayo nun tapos tumawag ka sa bahay para sabihin na a Bicol ka na mag-aaral? Haha!! muntik na ko umiyak nun! Ikaw talaga! ;p At ang dami na palang nagbago!! Yung SM North ibang-iba na!! May Trinoma na din a tapat. Parang di mo pa alam mga kwento ko ah. Alam ko na kung naaan ka man eh nakikita mo lahat ng nangyayari dito.

Pero alam mo may times na naiiyak ako. May times na feeling ko numb ako. At hindi ko talaga mailabas yung hurt na nafifeek ko kasi wala ka na. Ayan! Naiiyak na naman ako. Last hristmas get-together namin eh naiyak ako. Sana sa mga ganitong bagay eh maiyak naman ako. Kasi alam mo naman proud ako na tao. Di basta-bata naiiyak sa mga bagay na nangyayari a akin. Pero pag dating sa mga palaba ayun naiiyak ako agad o kaya may ibang umiiyak. Pero lately lagi ko na lang feel na umiyak dahil a work. Naikwento ko na ba sayo work ko? Hay naku!! ayaw ko na!! pero baka nasasabi ko lang yun kasi pressured ako. Help me ah. Alam ko close kayo ni God at na sa pangangalaga ka na niya. I-hi mo din ako kay St. Jude. Pasabo sorry at di ko na siya nabisita a church niya at nakakapagdaal sa kanya. Basta be happy always ha. Thank you sa lahat-lahat. Miss ka namin... pero wag mo ako tatakutin ah... Alam mo naman matatakutin ako. Sorry din a lahat ng heartache na binigay ko sayo. Alam ko umakit ulo mo sa akin. Basta mahal ka naming lahat. Kahit wala ako maibibigay sayong cake... Happy Birthday! muntikan ko pa makalimutan di ba? sorry... ;p Happy birthday ulit!!

Eating is fun... very fun...

2008-06-15T20:22:00.003+08:00

It's eating me.

My job is eating me alive. I can only take so much and I'm on the verge of giving up. No matter how I try to look for the sun and follow the light, all I can see is a vast darkness slowly creeping in my lighted path. I really don't know what else to do. I feel so hopeless. I feel like a burden to my colleagues. And I don't like that feeling.

Just gobble me up whole and end this agony.

On fears...

2008-05-20T23:29:00.002+08:00

People fear so many things in life. From the most compliated matter to the most mundane things. I fear so many things and one of those things I fear now is work.

I'm not the type of person who schedule my day or weeks activity. I tried to but in the end I can't follow my own schedule. And its frustrating! I frustrate my own self! And I'm afraid to disappoint my colleagues. I'm feeling a great pressure now. Sometimes I want to scream and drop at the center of the earth. I'm really afraid of disappointing people and making a mistake. I really don't want to diappoint my co-workers. ARGH!! I have to change I know! I houkld start now! God pleae help me.

Spur of the moment

2008-05-11T21:49:00.005+08:00

It' indescribable. The way I feel right now. It's like I'm stuck in this lighted corner and everything else is a vast darkness of the unknown. I want to move, but for some reason I can't. It's my fault for not doing anything. I should have faced the music a long time ago.

It's now or never. Change or fail.

I definitely choose change.

Quench the thirst

2008-05-11T20:49:00.004+08:00

In a moment of confusion, you're heart beats rapidly and everything recedes in to the background. All you can hear is the thunderous beating of your heart. Your breath becomes labored and the air seemed so dense. Everything is getting slower by the millisecond and you wait for that moment. The moment of release. Freedom from the agony.

And ever so slowly he turned around. Then you realized it's not him. Just another case of mistaken identity.

WARNING: Long overdue blog entry

2008-04-02T23:24:00.003+08:00

Wow! It's been a year already and it seems like it was only yesterday. The exams, hell week, projects, sleepless nights, over demanding professors, case studies and many more were just the few things I want to escape when I was in college. Now, I want it all again in my life. And when I look back, I realize that I was lucky to have studied in UST, met my beloved CA1, learned many things inside and outside the classroom. I miss my classmates. I miss my professors. I miss UST. I miss the food they sell around UST. I miss college.

When I entered college, I felt like drowning. I was scared. There were so many people - strangers. I was used to knowing everyone by name, face or reputation. I grew up with the same people in SMCQC from kinder to 4th year high school. So I was really shocked on my first day in college, that cowered. I immediately went out the university's premises, took a jeep going to my friends house. Goodness... I'll never forget that day. I felt so alone. Slowly I adapted to the environment. But sometimes I wish I were in high school again. I felt that life in high school was so simple. It was only on the latter days of my college life that I realized that I was enjoying my college life. I experienced many things that I will never experience in my sheltered kinder, grade school and high school life. I got to meet different kinds of people from different walks of life. I made a lot of memories in college that I wouldn't trade for all the riches in the world.

I'm very thankful to my classmates. They were able to tolerate my craziness especially Amz and Pinks. I learned a lot from CA1. Here the the things I'll remember most about my classmates:

Vea- Vea with the V. With ala peace sign pa to emphasize on the V. Very sweet and super nice. I'll never forget the day she confronted O because of their adver report. First time I saw her mad. Pero natawa kami kasi kakaenter lang ni O a classroom kinonfront na niya agad. Ahahaha!!
Grace- Shobe of our class. The ever OC girl. Madaming dance step yan... Pati siomai ginawan ng dance step. Now we work at the same company. Shobe tatagal ba tayo?
Franco- A very nice guy, super down to earth and a good dancer.
Czare- CA1's mommy. The ever so responsible president.
Kenneth- My partner sa pag-sayaw ng "Sasakyan Kita", "Cutie cute cute" at madami pang iba. He always make me laugh.
Jacy- Super lambing. Grabe I super miss her paglalambing. A very very good friend.
Ruth- Pretty and nice. Someone who always wear a jacket in class.
Des- Cheatmate! haha!! My seatmate in 1st and 2nd sem of our second year in college.
Eva- Taray pero nice. Tambayan yata ng CA1 apartment niya pag may class projects.
Chinky- Super cute at nakakaaliw.
Liszt- Forever classmate!! Of all of my classmate, Lizzie was the one that I had worked with often.
Jason- Irreg classmate. Photographer. Stars are blind. Nakaaway ni A. Haha!!
Dianne- The girl who cried wolf. Tatalunin ng mga quotable quote niya ang pinakaquotable quote sa mundo.
Marvie- A moving force in our IMC days as a whole class.
Jen- One of the dancers in class. Groupmate ko sa adver in 3rd year 1st sem.
Val- Asaka. Good singer.
Abby- I'll always remember the way her hand moves when she recites.
Kae- Another dancer in class. Smart, pretty and nice.
Badet- Ang liit ng boses. Super nice.
Reg- Good dancer, can sing, good at photoshop. Daniel in Once on this Island.
Ako to.
Amz- What can I say? immune yata to sa virus ko eh... di nahawa sa kabaliwan ko hehe...
Pinks- Like me lagi siyang natatapilok.
Olet- Kahit di namin siya kasama na nag graduate, 3 and a half years namin siyang nakasama.
Ate Arbs- She' really like my ate.
Arvee- The boy who cried wolf. Laging kasama sa prod team ng class. Nag audition sa Philippine Idol.
Kyle- Very good at graphics design. My first seatmate in college.
Jona- Very creative. Good at conceptualizing ads.

Yan pagkakasunod na yan ang seating arrangement namin. Wala sana ako nakalimutan hehe...

Anyways, I have so many wonderful memories with CA1. I also learned a lot from them.

Stressed is desserts spelled backwards

2008-03-28T23:44:00.005+08:00

Who would have thought that chasing your dreams can actually get you burned?

I slowly feel the light starting to diminish. But I always find myself holding on to that small flicker of light.

Why do I always find myself treading uncharted waters?

Sometimes I really feel the urge to jump in the vast ocean. Drown away everything. Wash it all away.

There are days when it's so breezy.
There are days when I find myself walking in and out of that hole.
There are days when I don't feel anything. Laid back and carefree.
But most days I'm the lackadaisical me.

Don't mind me, I'm just stressed out.

Randomness

2008-03-26T22:36:00.004+08:00

Please, forgive the ranting...

***

What keeps me going? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe it's pure instinct or the natural urge to move forward.

Keep going. That's the right thing to do. The road ahead is still very bleary. There are lamp posts, the moon and the stars to give sufficient light. But I want the sun. I long to see the sun.

***

I hate it when people keep you out in the dark. It frustrates me to end argh!!

***

Sometimes I feel so bored that I want to quit. But I can't so... guess I have to stay for a while.

***

Miss school so much. Miss my classmates. Miss my professors. Miss everything in college

And the circus never left town

2008-03-17T00:25:00.004+08:00

Why do I find it hard to believe the crying clown?

The lap dog bit his master.

The vultures and scavengers are waiting for the kill.

The ring master is at the center of it all.

Former ring masters simply can't stop themselves from joining the circus again.

People aren't exactly enjoying the show.

I wonder what' next?

Happy Shalala

2008-03-11T11:21:00.003+08:00

Things that made me happy last March 9

Kenneth and Vea. They really made me laugh with their online radio show haha! Now I miss them even more.
People who greeted me happy birthday.
Hearing Mass
The little girl who reached out for my hand when we started singing the Lord's Prayer.
Slept for more than 5 hours woohoo!!

Hoping for a better year head! :D

Dream a dream

2007-12-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of Pam and I suddenly miss her. I wonder how's she doing? I know she'll be fine. She's a strong woman. =)

Ako ay filipino

2007-10-24T01:21:00.000+08:00

Grrr!! Eto ha napapansin niyo ba na tuwing may iniinterview sa isang lalaki/artist o sino mang sikat foreigner, eh laging may nagtatanong galing sa press people na "how do you find filipino women?" Pag naririnig ko yung tanong na yun umuusok talaga ang tenga ko at naniningkit ang mata ko sa asar. Bakit? Hindi ba parang were selling the filipino women pag ganoon? Tapos galit na galit tayo pag may site na tungkol sa mga mail order bride na mga filipina o kung ano man na derogatory tungkol mga filipinos. Tingin ko talaga walang dapat nagtatanong nun eh, kahit na walang intensyon na masama pag inisip mo ng mabuti yung tanong parang may ibang implication eh. Parang nagbebenta ka ng ano. Hmpf!! Kaya sana wala ng magtanong ng ganoon. At kung wala silang maisip na ibang tanong, wag na lang sila magtanong.

christmas carol

2007-10-18T23:49:00.000+08:00

Am I too cynical to not believe that a person can fall for someone in a matter of days or at first glance? Well, come on! Love at first sight is for the romantics out there. How can you love someone at a mere sight? Can anyone enlighten me with that? Because I firmly believe that love at first sight in actuality is more on the physical level. But in certain circumstances, I admit, that there are people who fall hopelessly in love in a matter of days, a week perhaps. But still I believe that it's more on physical attraction. Or raging hormones or a case of momentary insanity.

Grabe am I such a love scrooge? Hindi naman siguro hehe...

snap.. snap..

2007-10-09T22:15:00.000+08:00

Expect me to do something stupid this week. Hmpf!!

**********

I'm trying to change for the better. I realized that I can't turn myself around within a day. So I need to take one day at a time.

**********

Waiting prolongs agony. I can wait, I know I can. But sometimes I wonder if its all worth it. My stubbornness is one of the reason why I am still waiting. But the main reason why I want to wait is because I'm really hoping that one day I can have it(well kung ano man yung hinihintay ko akin na lang yun). Though there is no guarantee that I can have it. Still, I'm crossing my fingers.

**********

Grabe every time I'm with Cathrine laughtrip talaga haha!! We've spent half the day laughing haha. Here's one of our picture from our escapade yesterday

**********

Beauty is synonymous to perfection. Therefore there is no beauty in this world. Only God is beautiful.

**********

I tried playing virtual villagers but I got bored o I resumed my reading of yet another romance novel.

**********

Who is Kapitan Basa? Well character siya sa children's show dati na Batibot na super favorite ko haha!! But last monday someone told me na he's the puppet counting numbers. I was confused by that information. Kasi all the while I thought he read stories, so I said to Cathrine "di ba nagbabasa siya ng libro? kaya nga Kapitan Basa?" If I remember it correctly Cathrine replied "eh gusto ko siya magbilang eh. 1 haha!! 2 haha!!" I laughed at what she said haha!! Si Count pala ng Sesame Street na sa isip niya haha!! Ayun tawa kami ng tawa habang naglalakad haha!!

A mix of everything

2007-10-02T14:01:00.000+08:00

I suddenly remembered Ariane because of the name Ben haha!! Then I also remembered a song mentioning the name Ben haha!! I think its a Jackson Five song haha!!

**********

Grabe its been raining for almost a week na. I hope within two days the storm is already out of the country. Hay... Even though I like the cold weather, rainy days make me feel somewhat sad because I can't do anything other than stay at home.

**********

I feel hopeless. And there's no one to blame but me. It's my own doing and I have to face this on my own. Tama si Labs, I don't need someone to whack me in the head because I already know what to do yet I'm not doing anything.

**********

I'm craving for maki again haha!!

**********

Yesterday I took the IPIP-NEO Five Factor Personality Test. The result mostly said that I am average but I have a low morality(it doesn't mean daw na I don't have principles its just that I'm always on guard daw). I forgot other things that the result said eh, pero most of it is true haha!! Or should I say accurate haha!!.

**********

Good morning

2007-09-27T11:37:00.000+08:00

Grabe ang pangit ng gising ko kanina. Ang bigat ng feeling, sumasakit sikmura ko tapos parang kumikirot yung gums ko. Argh!! Ang pangit talaga ng pakiramdam ko. Pati pagbabasa wala ako gana hay...

Sabel!! This must be love!! -Carmi Martin, Working Girls

2007-09-27T00:22:00.000+08:00

I am so inlove with Nakatsu SHuichi!! He is such an adorable character haha!! Well anyone who had watched the recently concluded Hana Kimi Jdorama would undertsand. For me Ikuta Toma played the character very well. He made Nakatsu's character so lovable espeially when he's troubled because of what he felt for Mizuki. Haha!! I love the way he acts when he thinks. Very funny haha!! I love Nakatsu!! Yun lang...

Pick-A-Thought

2007-09-21T23:01:00.000+08:00

I am my own enemy. I am in constant battle with my pride and everything else that comes with it. Complications arise when my pride gets the better of me. And oh boy!! What opportunities I had let slipped through my grasp because of that damn pride!! So boys and girls always remember that pride is one of the seven capital sins so don't fall prey to it. It might consume you without noticing it.

**********************

Opportunity is always knocking at my door. And it is my choice whether to let it in, make it wait until it gets tired of waiting and leaves or immediately swing the door open and welcome it with glee. But expect a stupid girl like me to make Mr. Opportunity wait with the hope that I'll accept it with open arms but in the end it's either I'll shoo it away or tell lies just to get away from it. Many times I landed on a job despite competition. But I always find myself looking for a flaw or something to complain about the job. So in the end I say no at the job offer. See at what I'm doing with opportunity? I'm not proud of it really, and I hope Mr. opportunity won't get tired of me.

*********************

I have this habbit of starting something and not finishing it. I am very fond of reading but in the span of three weeks I have read several books without really finishing it. Grrr!! I'm frustrated with my own self argh!!

********************

Ah!! Last tuesday Labidabs treated us at Pancake House for her birthday. Thanks Labs!! I really had fun. Now I miss you even more!!

********************

I can't believe Christmas is just around the corner. My Chritmas last year wasn't as great as our new year's celebration. I really hope that this year Christmas will be better.

*******************

Again, for the past three week I had read two romance novel and I had noticed several things with the story elements. But I'll post those observation next time haha!!

******************

I suddenly remembered this guy haha!! I can't even remember his name or how me met but we were enjoying talking with one another until we were subtly flirting na. We were talking about food yata, he's a HRM student and he told me that it'll be a pleasure for him to cook for me. I can't remember the details of the things we had talked about. Basta the very thing that I remember about our coversation was what he said to me haha!! He said "kainin kita dyan eh". I told him "Di pwede no, unless kumakain ka ng kapwa tao mo" Haha!! Every time I remember what he said natatawa talaga ako bwahahaha!!

******************

As of this moment I am reading yet another novel haha!! multi-tasking at its best haha!! After reading five pages I realized that I don't like the Lorraine character and it's silly to be engage or be in a relationship with someone you don't trust. Hay naku...

*****************

Who ever is the good soul who gave me a 135 worth of phone credit thank you. Haha!! Two days ago between 1:30-2 in the morning I found out that I have mysteriously acquired phone credits. But I think it came from my network service provider. I read na they're giving prepaid credits as a form of reward.

****************

Bwahahahaha!! I jut want to laugh wala lang haha!!

****************

Think positive

2007-09-08T23:22:00.000+08:00

Just recently I realized that I was running in circles, stalling, procrastinating. I was leisurely passing time just for the hang of it. And it has to end sooner or later. I'm really feeling miserable right now. I'm having one of those moments again where I should feel glad but instead I want to scream and cry. I just want to cry but the tears won't fall out. And I'm scared. Scared of the big world I have to face. I really should/must stop wanting to turn back time and be a college student again. I'm the type of person who tends to hang on to something important for a very long time. And college life was a blast. And I really don't want to let go. But I have to.

From now on I'll try my best in everything. I don't want to be a disappointment. I want to have fun and be happy.

Emergency!!

2007-09-02T23:51:00.000+08:00

Stop the press!!

Stop whatever it is that you're doing!!

There's a national crisis brewing...

Let us all kneel...

Kneel in front of the television and watch the blow-by-blow account of the two tv stations with the word war between two persons.

This is huge I say!! Huge!! This might change our lives as we know it.

Call the police, the MMDA, SSS, MTRCB, PCSO, the Disaster Coordinating Group, call everyone phuuuleeeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeee!!! We should stop the word war before other countries get involve. Oh!! The humanity!! What is it coming to?

Yes, what is it coming to? Especially with the people in this country. Instead of filing a petition for certiorari with the controversial human security act, some people wants the senate to investigate the scandal that had happened in a noon time show. After watching that on the news I thought "wala na bang magandang magawa ang mga tao ngayon at pati yun kailangan pang gawing national issue?" There are other things far more important that the senate should investigate, like the revival of the "Hello Garci Scandal" Uhhmmm... I understand that it is really important for most people to know whether or not the alleged cheating happened. But come on!! Is it really really that important? Let people handling media regulations and DTI(I guess) solve the problem. And let us all have a peaceful afternoon instead.

Nyak!!

2007-08-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

Bye bye DSL!!

OO!! tatanggalin na DL namin. Bakit? Kasi di kami maawat sa pag gamit ng PC huhu... Kaya sa susunod baka mad dial-up na naman ulit kami. Kasi naman di ko maintindihan kung bakit *toooooooooooooooooot* Kung kailan *tooooooooooooooooooot* Asar!! Di ko alam kung ano ginagawa nila *tooooooooooooooot* Dapat nga ngayong *toooooooooooot* Di ba? Hay wala tayo magagawa ganyan talaga eh...

grrr..

2007-08-13T00:52:00.000+08:00

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I just want to scream!! I'm starting to panic because I'm still a bum. And I really do want to work na. It's really hard to find a job that's related to my course nowadays. And I don't want to be a call center agent again. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDNNNNNEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Top 10

2007-07-24T23:44:00.000+08:00

I just want to kill time and well, I decided to post a new entry. I really don't have much to share because currently my life revolves around teaching my little brother with his homeworks and helping him study for a test. Argh!! It's boring right? I really need to find a job soon. What was I gonna write about again? Oh!! I'm going to share random facts about me teehee..

Milo serves as milk for me. So when I can't sleep I drink Milo.

I eat fruits with salt. So even though it's a sweet one, I still partner it with salt

There's a certain shade of green that whenever I stare or see makes me wanna throw-up. And if I don't feel really really good, any shade of green will make me puke. That is if I stare long enough. Also, just last year I found out that staring at any shade of green while in a moving vehicle will make me feel sick.

I can't sleep alone.

I have lots of pillows.

I don't eat paksiw. I haven't tasted one and I will never taste one.

Even though I'm not really fond of fish, I actually like seafoods

Aside from sinigang na baboy my other favorite ulam/viand is ginataang hipon/alimasag

I eat alot but it doesn't show.

I'm a semi I repeat semi-man hater. Keyword:SEMI

trabajo

2007-07-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

Still confuse. But I think I have an idea as to what I want to do. It's just that I don't know what's next if I ever work in that field. I'm still enjoying vacation but I need work.

The path

2007-07-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

To think at this point I should already know what I want to do. But then again, it's me we're talking about so expect me to be confusing or procrastinating. I was in third year college when I decided/realized/knew that after graduation I will work at an advertising agency. I never really gave much thought about my career path back then or the other possibilities the 'working world' has to offer. It's just me working at an ad agency. Me in an ad agency. That's all I ever wanted two years ago. That's my plan A, B, C and so on. Again, it's me we're talking about so don't expect me to follow any plan. But one thing is for sure, I want to be filthy rich haha!! So after graduating I entered the call center world. Far from the ad ageny I dreamt about. But working in an ad ageny is always within reach. It's just that I treaded a different path. I still know my way though. After a month of working in a call center, I realized that I didn't graduate from a very good university with a bachelor's degree just to answer calls, so I resigned when the opportunity striked. Another job was offered to me even before I resigned from work. And at that moment I really wanted the job the company offered. When I have completed everything, passed the interview with flying colors and the third stage of application I suddenly felt that, that job is not for me. In the end I delined the job offer. And recently I decided not to go on with the final interview with an ad agnecy haha!! So can you see the pattern here? Haha!!

So based on my observation, I therefore conclude that:
1. Planning doesn't suit me.
2. I'm very fickle.
3. I'm confusing and confused with what I want to do.
4. I think I'm trying to escape reality that I already graduated.
5. I still don't know what I really want.

Twinkle, twinkle little star

2007-07-10T10:02:00.000+08:00

Time's up!!

That's what I have been hearing at the back of my head. It's over. But I refuse to accept that just yet. Stubborn, I know that's just how I am. I want to scream and cry. I'm falling into that hole again. A hole where I find myself walking in and out. I just want to break through this void I created beause of fear. I want to break free.

Jingle Bells

2007-07-02T01:31:00.000+08:00

I was reading something over the net describing a window. The description is simple yet I can picture the window in my mind vividly. The colors, the weather and the miniature display of little bears going about their work to prepare for Christmas. Then a sudden longing for Christmas washed over me. The feeling of lightness I feel every Christmas season was like a wave that suddenly toppled me over my seat. It's still halfway 'till Christmas but I want it to be now. The Christmas season gives me an easy and warm feeling. It's my most favorite time/season of the year.

Crunchy

2007-06-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

Eto ang ginagawa ng mga walang ginagawa na katulad ko(walang ginagawa pero may ginagawa contradicting ba?) haha!! Manood ng manood ng kang anu-ano. Yun ang ginagawa ko ngayon pag walang magawa haha!! So for one month na pagbabakasyon I have watched several drama series and animes. Thank goodness kahit papaano maayos dsl namin kahit palokoloko minsan hehe.. Right now I'm watching a not so horror series from Japan. It's a nice series though. You get to see and learn Japanese folklore. I remember watching the tagalized version of the series back in high school. Wala lang it's nice to watch it again hehe...

So yun.. sana magkawork na din kami hehe.. magiging farmer na lang yata ako a Australia haha!!

Reading the past

2007-06-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

Haha!! I was reading my past blog entries here and I noticed that the words 'agitated', 'vacation', 'stress' and 'frustration' were almost present in every entry haha!! Grabe I realized that I won't feel agitated, stressed or even frustrated over the same things anymore. Now if ever I will feel those unpleasant feelings again, it'll be for a different reason. So anyways, I can't help but laugh at my past entries. There are incomplete sentences, wrong punctuation or lack thereof haha!! My past entries even though serious, now seemed funny. and it brings back memories haha!!

Snippets

2007-06-21T10:57:00.000+08:00

For the past few days PBB viewers have watched how the conflict between the remaining girls inside the house became a full-blown awayan, bangayan at parinigan. And from a viewer's point of view I think that what Wendy said about Gee-ann was foul(it's the Pamela thing...). And come on, at one point the houmates became plastics with the exception of Mickey and Bea I think. Also, it doesn't mean na tahimik ka lang habang may nagpoprovoke sayo o nang-aaway ay plastic ka na. That's because people deal with things differently. Bea has been consistent with how she deals with situation like that. I mean some people really opt to stay calm when everything is becoming such a big mess. I'm also like that. I rather stay quiet than makipagsabayan sa height ng emotions ng ibang tao.

****************

I really need to find work na. I'm lucky that Mama is not pressuring me to get a job pronto!! But I really feel that something's after me and running after something and there's this time limit. Maybe I'm jut pressuring myself.

***************

I slept early last night haha!! That's one big accomplishment for me na semi-insomniac. At around 8:30 in the evening nakatulog ako tapos nagising ako ng 1:30 in the morning. I thought that I won't be able to go back to sleep. But after two hours yun nakabalik na ako sa dreamland.

**************

The keyboard of our computer is such pain. After we purchased this I immediately noticed that the letter 's' is screwed up. If there's no missing 's', there is an excess 's' naman. And now nakikipagabayan yung letter 'c' argh!! I want a new keyboard.

**************

Yesterday was a relatively a nice day. Went to St. Mary's College QC to buy my little brother's book. Met up with Zon and kwentuhan kami. I really miss talking to her. I miss her. Period.

**************

I'm so happy na may work na si Mellannie. Go Ate!! Go!! Thankful din ako na kahit papaano eh most of my classmates have work na hehe... I really want each and everyone of us to be successful. Go CA1!!

**************

I miss my CA1

Chikadora

2007-06-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

To the right corner wearing a red shirt and heavy mascara Babydoll!!

To the left corner wearing a green shirt and eye glasses Peter Pan!!

And on the other side err.. on which ever corner that is, wearing a yellow shirt and a bright smile Happy!!

But wait there's more on Peter Pan's side, err.. a lap dog?

Just when I thought that that reality TV show couldn't get anymore exciting, well I was proven wrong... NOT!! yet I think things inside that house is starting to spice up. I wonder when will I see more action inside that house haha!! A fist fight might do... violent... how about pulling each other's hair? haha!! that would be pretty fun to watch right? haha!! But right now I think who's poor, who has the money or who has a celebrity for a dad is out of the question as to who deserves to win the grand prize of that competition. The way I see things inside the house the one who's in dire need of the money doesn't deserve to win at all. People who are an avid watcher of that reality TV show are entitled to their own opinion regarding the whole ordeal inside the house now and who they think should win. As for me I always root for the one who needs money, but after watching the recent development inside the house, I changed my mind.

Errr... scrath this entry... I just read online that that reality TV show is rigged and it really doesn't matter who gets the most number of vote as long as yung mga tao na nagpapalakas sa rating ang matitira.

So I guess we'll see more Peter Pan and the lap dog... grrr...

wwwwaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!

2007-06-19T02:04:00.000+08:00

For the past few days I've been out of it. My mind and heart had turned into an ocean of mixed emotion with frustration being the domineering feeling. My mood swings had been drastically changing every now and then, meaning, it's worse than the usual. I don't like this feeling... argh!!

raindrops keep falling on my head

2007-06-10T23:53:00.000+08:00

I am not an emotional type of person. But I'm such a sucker for bittersweet movies/stories. Wala lang hehe.. Siguro kaya gusto ko ng mga ganoong movies/stories kasi nga I rarely cry for myself. Kaya isinasabay ko na lang sa pagiyak ko habang nanonood o nagbabasa ng mga ganoong stories. Pero pag ibang tao na ang nahihirapan o umiiyak, naiiyak ako para sa kanila. Weird ba? haha!! Weird nga hehe..

ana magkawork na ko hehe..

Let there be rain!!

2007-06-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

There's one thing a person should never say to a communication arts student, and that is 'ang saya naman ng AB walang ginagawa' and the worst thing one could ever say is 'madali lang course mo'

I mean come on!! Most people think that taking up communication arts in college is easy. And that idea is dead wrong. WRONG!! WRONG!! WRONG!! INCORRECT!! NOT TRUE!! What else should I say to make people understand that any course in AB is just as hard as an engineering or a science course? How many times have I defended my course to those people with 'my course is harder, we have lots of things to do blah blah blah' attitude. Hmmmm... that sounds like someone we had interviewed months ago (but I do hope he gets into a medical school) haha!!. People like that don't understand that any course is as hard as any other course there is and it doesn't matter what school you come from. My blood boils everytime I remember those people who belittled my course or my faculty. This rant about those people who think that way about my course and my beloved faculty has long been overdue. How many times have I wanted to write about how irritating it is when people say 'madali lang naman course mo eh'? Some people don't understand how grueling it is to produce a 15-minute seconder teaser for an advertisement or how mentally taxing it is to coneptualize a film, documentary, communication plan or a storyline for a script. No one really knows that until they experience the things I have mentioned. It's a widespread common misconception that people from the Faculty of Arts and Letters have it easy. Is it our fault that our we study and have fun at the same time? Courses from my faulty are really interesting because we're not boxed within the four walls of our classroom, the library and the univesity itself. Some people think that it's fun to shoot films, commercial, documentary etc. and well they are correct but it doesn't mean that it is easy. We don't just point and shoot our cameras and capture footages on a whim. There's a process we follow and because other people doesn't know about that, they think it's a breezy and dandy task. They don't even know how long it takes to edit a 5-minute documentary.

SHORT BREAK...
eeekkk!! the electricity suddenly went out!! Thank goodness blogger has an autosave feature now teehee..

AND NOW WE RESUME...

Hay!! nawala na ko sa mood magsulat, nawala na rin yung pagkairita ko hehe... next time ko na lang itutuloy reklamo ko sa mga taong nangmamaliit sa course ko. Hmpf!! akala mo kung sino hmpf!!

The sky is as blue as yessterday..

2007-06-08T02:05:00.000+08:00

There are some things I wish I knew and some things I wish I didn't do. Because of the things I now knew which I obviously didn't know about or lets just say semi-knew about then, now it feels like my mind is spinning and my chest constricting with frustration and not to mention pressure. How I hope that people around me would be more open so as to avoid this situation from happening again. And I hate being left out in the dark. I always have to grasp things in the dark in order for me to find even the slightest ray of light. Goodness!! I really want to scream right now!! Argh!! If only I knew maybe just maybe I wouldn't be that selfish, I wouldn't have done that, that soon and I wouldn't feel this heavy load. The pressure is kicking in and the frustration is just plain troublesome.

confusing

2007-05-31T00:17:00.000+08:00

Fickle

: "marked by lack of steadfastness, constancy, or stability"
: "given to erratic changeableness"
(Merriam-Webster Dictionary. http://m-w.com)

Fickle is one of the many words that can describe me. Being fickle is one trait that I am not proud of. I want some thing now as in really really want, but in a blink of an eye or even a fraction of a second poof!! I don't want it anymore. Which brings me to this dilema: I want this but I'm not really sure of that anymore. I'm beginning to be confusing now I know. Bear with me or just don't try to grasp whatever I'm trying to convey here because believe me you'll just be confused. I want so many things in life, so many things, but I also want that, and I also want another thing and another and another and another and the list goes on. I really don't know what to do regarding with this matter. I am not a very good decision maker and I don't want to make a decision right now without giving it much consideration and deliberation. I know I must weigh the pros and cons first before jumping into any decision. Oh my!! what to do?! What to do?!

My bak is aching, I have to lie down now... Argh!!

Happy Shalala!!

2007-05-28T23:33:00.001+08:00

I wonder why I can easily cry when I see people hurting, sad or crying. It's as if I can feel their pain, agony and suffering. But why can't I cry for myself?

A little bit of everything

2007-05-28T01:20:00.000+08:00

May 27, marks the last week of May for year 2007. Bye bye excruciating heat and sunny sunshine, hello rain, heavy clouds and oh!! let's not forget flood. Supposedly by this time I'm already preparing stuff for the new school year. But this year and for the years to come it'll be different. No more shopping for school supplies, books, bags or shoes. Those things that I've been doing for the last 16 years of my life before the new school year starts will soon become a distant memory of a now graduate student.

When I was still studying all I can think about is graduating so I can finally earn my own money. Buy the things I want and eat at retaurants and eat more. I never actually thought that it will be this hard to let go of the things you've been accustomed to for the past 16 years. 16 years of studying, 16 years of spending 75% of my life inside the classroom, 16 years of making projects and reports and 16 years of priceless experience. When I was in college sometimes I think about the good old days in high school, wishing that the hands of time will turn back to those years. Now I wish I was a college student again, eager to see my blockmates at the first day of the new school year and excited to exchange stories of our summer adventures.

Now, it'll be different. All of us will face the 'real world' for the working people and that, will also be our 'real world' now. And I'm afraid. Most of my classmate are working now. I used to work but I resigned and I don't want to go on with the details about that matter. So... yeah, most of them I think already knows what they really want to do in life and I'm happy for them. I really want each and every one from CA1 to be successful. But as for me, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do. I want an exciting work, a work that will allow me to travel and learn new things about stuff not discussed inside the classroom.

Sometimes I feel lonely that I won't be able to spend time with my classmates especially with Amz and Pinks. Also, Labs has a work na as an agent for a call center I'm afraid that we won't see each other that much anymore or text each other as much as we want to because by the time she's working and awake I'm sleeping. And everything is changing fast. Change that I must accept. And I don't really know how I feel. It's a mixture of fear and loneliness and add a spoonful of pressure, not from anyone but from myself. I want more in life and I hunger for adventure yet I'm not brave enough to make it happen, to search for my happiness and place in this new world.

This whole world will be my classroom now where everyone is both a teacher and a student.

Ranting

2007-05-21T23:37:00.000+08:00

Sleep is what I wanted most after almost a year of sleepless nights due to amazingly heavy load of school works. And now I'm unemployed and a professional bum again who has all the sweet time in the world to sleep and yet can't. You see, even though I'm so sleepy I can't stop myself from staying up until the witching hours. I already know that my body-clock is all screwed up and just when I thought I already got it fixed, it went haywire again. I sleep at around four in the morning and I wake up at around seven in the morning also. More or less I only get two-to-three hours of sleep and I don't like that, I really don't. *sigh* I know it's my fault, why I'm not getting enough sleep. I stay up late surfing the net then after that I'll read a book and I know I really need to stop this bad habbit of staying up late. I should start now but the PC won't let me go haha!! Yes!! It's the PC's fault!!

Ranting

2007-05-02T22:40:00.000+08:00

Kahapon May 1, Labor Day and it's an official holiday so mas mataas ang rate per hour sa work hehe.. Sana yumaman ako sa pag OT lagi haha!!

Birthday ngayon ni lola yey!! hehehe.. punta kayo sa bahay ang daming spaghetti nyahaha!!

Grabe, almost everyday I feel like pulling my hair out from its roots. I feel frustrated over something na alam ko na ako ang may gawa. Nafrufrustrate lang talaga ako.

Randomness

2007-04-29T22:53:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will be the 'SOAP Lelen Day' haha!!

I think I deserve that. Stupidity is not an excuse and what I did, though an honest mistake, is still a mistake so there's really no way out of this but to face the conequences.

Good luck for me tomorrow haha!!

On a different note, yesterday I was reading a 2005 issued magazine and guess what I saw and read?

Clue: "We dance... we dance... to the music lalalala..."

Yep I saw a picture of the cast of 'Once on this Island' and read the article. Just looking at the picture makes me wanna go back in time and perform the muiscal with my classmates all over again. Just looking at the picture, brings back fun memories. The 'Zagu' break, lunch or dinner at 'Bingkay's', the backdrop painting, the grand stand, and everything else that we did with the last month of our second year college came rushing back in my memory in vivid colors.

Oh how I long for those days gone by... How I miss my classmates and our profs... I miss UST...

¿Habla usted español?

2007-04-20T23:14:00.000+08:00

Regret...

That's what I'm feeling right now. I should have paid more attention to my Spanish class, memorized each verb ending with ar, er, and ir by heart, memorized the ten rules, and everything else!! I can't even remember the spanish version of The Lord's Prayer, Hail Mary and Glory Be... It's really sad that I didn't took those two semesters of Spanish lessons seriously...

Best Spanish learned words and phrases:

oruga: caterpillar
distraida: abent minded
el sol es el centro del sistema solar: the sun is the center of the solar system(hehe... I remember this sentence as one of the example of rule #1)
Caliente: hot!! (We even used this word as our class agency name hehe... 'CAl1ente')
que le pasa a usted?: what is the matter with you? (our prof told us that this sentence is grammatically incorrect, but still, it's written in our book)
no me pasa a nada: nothing is the matter with me (the answer to the question que le pasa a usted? Again this is a grammatically incorrect sentence haha!! But this one's my favorite sentence as well as the question)
soy bonita: I'm pretty
feo: ugly
feliz año nuevo: happy new year!!

Best Spanih movie:

De Eso No E Habla: I Don't Want to Talk About it
El Lobo: The Balloon... Hahahaha!! It's actually 'The Wolf'

*sigh*

I miss Spanish class, Señora Ferrer and Sir Obusan(kahit na nahuli niya ko na ginagaya ko isya hehe..)

What your name means (numerology)

2007-03-26T18:04:00.000+08:00

You entered: Merlynnjer Pineda Ato

There are 19 letters in your name.
Those 19 letters total to 93
There are 7 vowels and 12 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 3

The characteristics of #3 are:
Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.

The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.
The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.

Your Soul Urge number is: 5

A Soul Urge number of 5 means:
The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated.

In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced.

You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person.

Your Inner Dream number is: 7

An Inner Dream number of 7 means: You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning.

Source: http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

Birthday Calculator

2007-03-26T17:51:00.000+08:00

9 March 1986

Your date of conception was on or about 16 June 1985 which was a Sunday.

You were born on a Sundayunder the astrological sign Pisces.
Your Life path number is 9.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 7 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446498.5.
The golden number for 1986 is 11.
The epact number for 1986 is 19.T
he year 1986 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/9/1986 and ending 1/28/1987.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Tiger.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Wolf; your plant is Plantain.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Pachons, the first month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 28 AdarI 5746.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 29 AdarI 5746.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.12.14.14 which is12 baktun 18 katun 12 tun 14 uinal 14 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Sunday, 27 Jumadiyu'th-Thani 1406 (1406-6-27).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 30 March 1986.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 4 May 1986.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 12 February 1986.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 18 May 1986.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 25 May 1986.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 4 October 1986.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 24 April 1986.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 11 February 1986.

As of 3/26/2007 5:46:50 AM EDT

You are 21 years old.
You are 252 months old.
You are 1,098 weeks old.
You are 7,687 days old.
You are 184,493 hours old.
You are 11,069,626 minutes old.
You are 664,177,610 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Bow Wow (1987)
Chingy (1980)
Emmanuel Lewis (1971)
Juliette Binoche (1964)
Robin Trower (1945)
Bobby Fischer (1943)
Raul Julia (1940)
Mickey Gilley (1936)
Yuri Gagarin (1934)
Keely Smith (1932)
Irene Papas (1926)
Mickey Spillane (1918)
Samuel Barber (1910)

Top songs of 1986

That's What Friends Are For by Dionne & Friends
Walk Like an Egyptian by BanglesOn My Own by Patti LaBelle & Michael McDonald
Greatest Love of All by Whitney HoustonStuck with You by Huey Lewis & the News
Rock Me Amadeus by FalcoKyrie by Mr. Mister
Kiss by Prince & the Revolution
Papa Don't Preach by Madonna
How Will I Know by Whitney Houston

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.00861056751468 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

There are 349 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 22 candles.

Those 22 candles produce 22 BTUs,
or 5,544 calories of heat (that's only 5.5440 food Calories!) .

You can boil 2.51 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1986 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1986 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1986 in the US there were 2,400,000 marriages (10%) and 1,159,000 divorces (4.8%)
In 1986 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.
In 1986 the population of Australia was approximately 16,138,769.
In 1986 there were approximately 243,408 births in Australia.
In 1986 in Australia there were approximately 114,913 marriages and 39,417 divorces.
In 1986 in Australia there were approximately 114,981 deaths.

Your birthstone is Aquamarine

The Mystical properties of Aquamarine

Aquamarine is often used to experience love and mercy.
It is said to help ease depression and grief.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone.
(Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Jade, Rock Crystal, Bloodstone

Your birth tree isWeeping Willow, the Melancholy

Beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.

There are 274 days till Christmas 2007!There are 287 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning crescent.

Source: http://www.paulsadowski.org/BirthDay.asp

Random musing...

2007-03-23T00:29:00.000+08:00

For the past few weeks I've been reading about the dicoveries of new species of plants and animals and can you believe that scientists found a new specie of mollusk here in the Philippines? Great huh? There's really so many things to discover and in this world.

So everyone put on your walking shoes and follow me (secret code for: everyone help me spread merlynniasis) as we explore the endless posibilities the world has to offer!! (secret code for: world domination)

Haha!!

Just wondering...

2007-03-18T23:52:00.000+08:00

Hey, still remember when we were little kids and a candy or a peso can satisfy us, or the days where we spend most of our time running around not really caring if the world ends the next day? Sometimes I wonder what happened and why we became the way we are now. Times change. People change. Every thing's in flux. But don't you wish that the little child that we once were will always be with us? I mean, lets face it, somewhere along the way we lose that little child within us. I know some of us won't admit it but through our journey we became jaded, cynical and afraid. I myself wonder what ever happened to me and why I lost some part of me along the way. I miss Me. And I really want Me to come back...

I guess I should staryt looking for Me now.

The Circus

2007-03-13T00:41:00.000+08:00

It's that time again when the circus comes to town. We see different kinds of animals performing amazing acts, trying to catch each and every spectator's attention. And sometimes the animals try to outshine one another in the quest for popularity.

Where else can you see a monkey singing, dogs dancing and crocodiles dancing to the tune of tango while juggling truckloads of chips? Nowhere but in the Philippines!!

Let's all sit down and enjoy the show...

wala lang

2006-11-22T00:51:00.000+08:00

1. Masarap umuwi sa bahay kc:
- kasi masarap humiga sa kama yakap mga unan ko

2. Di ako umaalis ng bahay kung:
- walang pera hehe..

3. Masarap kumain sa Mcdo kc:
- favorite ko ang cheese burger nila at fries at mcflurry

4. Masarap manood ng Wowowee kapag:
- tapos na ang bulagaan ng eat bulaga

5. Masarap magcomputer kung:
- walang magawa hahaha!!

6. Umiinom ako ng C2 kc:
- mas maarapo ang C2 kaysa sa ibang flavored iced tea

7. Masaya mag-aral kung:
- maraming oras

8. Ayoko pumasok ng CR kung:
- nakapa-off ang ilaw

9. Kumakain ako ng footlong dahil:
- di ako kumain buong araw at footlong na lang ang mabibili dito sa madaling araw

10. Boring ang survey kung:
- di ko feel ang mga tanong

11. Kumakain ako ng Sizzling dahil:
- masarap eh

12. Maganda makinig ng music kung:
- umuulan at nakahiga ka sa kama

13. Takot ako sa:
- dilim at etc... etc... etc...

14. Masaya ako kc:
- mas maraming dapat ikasaya kaysa ikalungkot

15. Magaling ako sa:
- drawing

16. Ang idol kong Hentai superhero ay si:
- huh!? meron non?

17. Ang powers ng idol kong superhero ay:
- wala

18. Nung bata ako, madalas ako bumili ng:
- junk foods

19. Gus2 ko ang crush ko kc:
- cutie pie siya

20. Pinatulan ko ang survey na to kc
- wala ako magawa at gusto ko na matulog

Wala lang...

2006-11-22T00:34:00.000+08:00

makulit ka ba? kung oo, paano? -
[*] oo pero ang hirap explain kung papaano

ano ang madalas pang asar ng mga kaibigan mo sayo? -
[*] oldie? hahaha!!

pikon ka ba? -
[*] sometimes...

pang ilan ka sa inyong magkakapatid? -
[*] Eldest

ikaw ba ay isang "positive thinker"? -
[*] I think so... hehehe...

ano ang paborito mong numero? -
[*] wala ako favorite number pero 5 or 9 ang lagi ko pinipili na number...

bingi ka ba? -
[*] minsan... wahahahaha!! mabingi tawag nila sa akin nung h.s.

saan mo gusto dito o doon? -
[*] kahit saan

ano ang mga paborito mong kulay? -
[*] sky blue

nakakain ka na ba ng hayop maliban sa manok at baka? -
[*] oo naman...

galit ka ba sa mundo? -
[*] paminsan-minsan...

naiinis ka ba sa mga taong kinukwento ang katapusan ng pelikulang hindi mo pa napanood?
[*] hindi... mahilig ako sa spoilers eh

saan ka mahilig sa sapatos o sa
damit? -
[*] damit at bag wahahahaha!!

sino mas gusto mo si juan o si pedro? -
[*] si Tom

ang boses mo ba mataas o mababa? -
[*] di ko alam

nagtatago ka ba ng sama ng loob? -
[*] lagi...

sumasayaw ka ba? -
[*] pag na sa mood

magaling ka bang kumanta? -
[*] nope

natutulog ka ba ng patay o buhay ang ilaw? -
[*] nakabukas ang ilaw

mas marami bang naidulot na masama o mabuti ang friendster saiyo? -
[*] iguro mabuti

mukha ka bang cartoon character?
[*] minsan sabi nila

saan mas masaya sa sun o sa moon?
[*] sa jupiter

ano ang gusto mo sa lalake/babae,
[*] sarili ko

mahilig sa sports o sa music? -
[*] sa movies

Random Stuff

2006-11-21T01:38:00.000+08:00

Dinner conversation with my family last Sunday...

I was teasing my youngest brother about him not being special earlier that day and the day before. I told him that when I was little our mother would make me sandwiches and now she buys me cookies so I have something to eat at school. And lasst sunday mama bought me some cookies so I can eat something on school for our 3 p.m.- 9p.m. sched. with no break time.

Dinner around 7 in the evening

Len: wah!! si Jasper di special!! ako special ako!! wahahaha!!

(Jasper frowning)

Jasper: Mama di ako special?

Mama: OO di ka special normal ka di ka naman special child di ba?

Len: wahahahaha!! di siya special!! ako special ako nung bata ako... ginagawan ako ni mama ng sandwiches...

Jasper: Mama tatanong ko ulit... special ba ako?

Mama: di ka nga special....
(then our mother explained to him what is a pecial child)

Jasper: Mama tatanong ko ulit... special ba ako...

Mama: (explain nanaman si mama) ...yung mga batang malalaki na pero inuubuan pa ng pagkain special child yun...

Bryan: special child nga si jasper!! hanggang ngayon sinusubuan pa siya ng pagkain

Jasper: eh di special child ako?

Mama: di ka nga pecial child

Len: gusto niyang tawagin iyang pecial child, eh di special child siya

Jasper: o pecial child ako...

===============================================

While waiting for a jeepney going to Quiapo yesterday around 11:30 a.m. I saw a mobile ad of efficasent oil with that Korean actor as the endorser. And guess what I remembered? haha!! If your a marian I think you would have an idea what that is... haha!! yes!! the clinic!! hahahahaha!! I remember that everytime I'm not feeling well the clinic personel will give me efficasent oil. Just efficasent oil. Efficasent oil!! the wonder ointment!! the all aroung ointment!! wahahahahahaha!!

In high school

1

Len: Madam masakit po ulo ko... may migrane po ako...

(the nurse will asks questions about my condition)

Nurse: efficaent oil mo na lang...

2

Len: Madam my dysmenorhea po ako...

Nurse: efficasent oil mo na lang yan...

(after taking the wonder all-around ointment for so many years for many different sickness...)

len: Madam pahingi po ng efficasent oil... may migrane po ako

The Drama...

2006-11-16T00:36:00.000+08:00

I've been feeling down lately though its not evident to the people around me. Looking back, I guess I have alway been like that. Putting up the happy face and locking all this bitter and sad feelings in the recess of my being. I never really get to express what I feel, main reason is I don't know how to. And now it feels like I'm falling in and out of this void over and over again. I want to stop but the thing is I don't know how. Sometimes I really really want to cry to let it all out but the tears won't fall out of my eyes. Usually, I find comfort in the form of food: ice cream and chocolates to be exact. But now it feels like no one or nothing can get me out of this except me. Sleep the one thing I love the most can't even comfort me now...

Everytime I visit the chapel I feel well, but the moment I step out of the sacred place, unwanted feelings rush back...

I want to get out of this, I want to stop it...

ranting...

2006-11-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

Wah!! I'm really really nervous about this coming sem. I know it's too early to worry about things yet to come but... wah!! I'm really really nervous!! wah!! I know everything will be a lot harder this time and I know I can get through all of the hardships!! AJA!! AJA!! AJA!!

wah!!

Random things...

2006-10-25T20:39:00.000+08:00

Random converations with my family...

Me and Jasper
(Me dancing while sitting haha!!)

Jasper: "Bakit ka nagsasayaw?"

Me: "Gusto ko eh pakielam mo?"

Jasper: "Bakit bakla ka ba?"

Me: "Eh bakit ikaw? nagsasayaw ka bakla ka?"

Me and Lola
(Me and lola watching TV)

Lola: "Mengan ka nandin?"

Me: "Hindi..."

Lola: "Ot ali ka mamangan?"

Me: "Gisingin niyo ko ng maaga para makapag-lunch ako..."

Lola: "Kape mu ing iinuman mu... ali ka mamangan ken..."

Me: "Alam niyo naman na pag gising kape lang talaga ang gusto ko eh lunch na ako nagigising kaya lunch ko kape lang..."

Me and my Tita
(We were sitting at the sala)

Tita: "Biruin mo niluto niya(my tita's boyfriend) yung 1/2 kilo na pork ng sinigang... 1/2 kilo ang dami noon!! sabi ko sa kanya mauubos ba natin lahat yan? Sabi ko nga sa kanya kainin niya lahat yun..."

Me: "Eh di isang buong araw na kayo kumakain ng sinigang?"

Tita: "Pangalawang araw na ngayon..."

Me and Mama

Mama: "CL lang at Math ang mababa na grade ni Jasper"

Me: "Cl lang binagsak pa niya?!"

food for thought...

2006-10-13T23:09:00.000+08:00

A friend forwarded this email to me... just want to share it with you guys... :)

The ten types of relationship that won't work:

1. You care about your partner more than he does about you.
2. Your partner cares more about you than you do about him.
3. You are in love with your partner's potential.
4. You are on a rescue mission.
5. You look up to your partner as a role model.
6. You are infatuated with your partner for external reasons.
7. You have partial compatibility.
8. You choose a partner in order to be rebellious.
9. You choose a partner as a reaction to your previous partner.
10. Your partner is unavailable.

The six BIGGEST mistakes we make in the beginning of a relationship:

1. We don't ask enough questions.
2. We ignore warning signs of potential problems.
3. We make premature compromises.
4. We give in to lust blindness.
5. We give in to material seduction.
6. We put commitment before compatibility.

Seven Wrong Reasons to be in a Relationship:

1. Pressure (age, family, friends, etc.)
2. Loneliness and desperation
3. Sexual hunger
4. Distraction from your own life
5. To avoid growing up
6. Guilt
7. To fill up your emotional or spiritual emptiness.

The Lust into Love Formula

1. First, you feel powerful sexual chemistry with someone or, in raw terms,
lust.
2. Next, you act on those urges and have sex with that person.
3. Then you experience some guilt or discomfort having been so sexually
intimate with someone you aren't that emotionally connected with.
4. Finally you create a relationship with that person to legitimize your
lust.

Five Realities about Love

1. Love is not enough to make a relationship work -it needs compatibility
and it needs commitment.
2. It just takes a moment to experience infatuation, but true love takes
time.
3. It is possible to experience true love with more than one person - there
are many potential partners you could be happy with.
4. The right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them.
5. Good sex has nothing to do with true love, but making love does.

Five Deadly Myths about Love

1. True love conquers all.
2. When it's really true love, you will know it the moment you meet the
other person.
3. There is only one true love in the world who is right for you.
4. The perfect partner will fulfill you completely in every way.
5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, it must be
love.

Fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner:

1. Addictions.
2. Anger.
3. Victime consciousness.
4. Control freak
5. Sexual Dysfunction.
6. Hasn't grown up.
7. Emotionally unavailable.
8. Hasn't recovered from past relationships.
9. Emotional damage from childhood.

Here are seven compatibility time bombs that can destroy a relationship:

1. Significant age difference.
2. Different religious background.
3. Different social, ethnic, or educational background.
4. Toxic in-laws.
5. Toxic ex-spouse.
6. Toxic Stepchildren.
7. Long-distance relationships.

Six qualities to look for in a mate:

1. Commitment to personal growth.
2. Emotional openness
3. Integrity
4. Maturity and responsibility
5. High self-esteem.
6. Positive Attitude towards life

Phobias

2006-10-13T20:22:00.000+08:00

Just want to share what I read online about different phobias.

Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking on the roof of your mouth.

Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of number 13

paraskavedekatriaphobia is the fear of friday the 13th

Heliophobia dread or avoidance of sunlight

Pteromerhanophobia fear of flying/ air travel

Coulrophobia fear of clown

Glossophobia fear of public speaking

Aichmophobia fear of medical proceduresinvolving injections

Emetophobia fear of vomiting or being around others who are vomiting

Tetraphobia fear of number 4

source: wikipedia.com

A Woman Should Have

2006-10-06T12:10:00.000+08:00

Just want to share this... I got this from my email...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

A set of screwdrivers,
a cordless drill, and
a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

One friend who
Always makes her
Laugh...
And one
Who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A good piece of furniture
not previously owned by
Anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
Eight matching plates,
Wine glasses with stems,
And a recipe for a meal that will
Make her guests feel honored.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A feeling of control over Her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love Without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP.. .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... and
WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change
The length of her calves,
The width of her hips, or
The nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That her childhood
May not have been Perfect...
but; Its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and Wouldn't
Do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone...
even if She doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust, Whom she can't,
And why she shouldn't Take it personally.. .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go..
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
Or a charming inn in the woods...
When her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish
In a day...
A month...
And a year...

Bakit Single Ka?

2006-10-03T12:19:00.000+08:00

Got this from my email... just want to share kakatawa kasi...

Top 11 Reasons kung BAKIT "SINGLE" ANG STATUS MO

Kaya heto ako at sasabihin ko sa inyo ang ilang mga rason kung bakit.

11. Destiny Adik

Eto yung mga naghihintay kay "Destiny" na gumawa ng paraan para pagtagpuin sila ng kanilang mga "partner in life".. ayannn... kapapanood nyo ng "Serendipity" eh feeling nila ang nangyari sa movie eh mangyayari rin sa kanila such a cliche.. hindi ba nila alam na kung walang effort destiny is useless.

10. Perfectionist/Mapili

Yes, isang taong perpeksiyonista. Yung tipong dapat ganito ang magiging kapartner ko. Pag may nakilala, nakita lang na pangit ang kuko o may dumi lang, turn-off na agad. O kaya ang daming ayaw. Ayaw sa mabait boring daw, gusto bad boy/ pilya pero kapag pinaiyak ka tatanungin ka bakit ang sama mo bakit mo nagawa yun! Adik ka ba?! Ayaw sa cute, ayaw din naman sa panget. meron dyan gusto ka ayaw mo naman.. ung gusto mo halos magtambling ka pero deadma parin yang stunts mO sa kanya! Pasaway ka rin e! Ano ba talaga kuya?

9. Busy Busyhan

Opo, eto yung ang mundo e gumagalaw lang sa libro at ballpen kung estudyante ka o kaya naman sa computer at files kung office staff ka. Yung tipong aalis ng bahay ng alas 6 o alas 7 ng umaga at uuwi ng bahay ng 6 hanggang alas 8 ng gabi [baligtad naman para sa mga nag tratrabaho sa call center. Sabay tulog na. Kapag sabado masaya na sila sa tv, sa pagkain na niluluto ni mama at sa linggo naman sisimba at maghahanda na ng kelangan para sa lunes hanggang byernes. Pssssst.. pause for awhile.

8. Friendship Theory

Ano naman ito? Eto yung ang buhay ay kay bestfriend o kaya kay special friend na hindi masasabi sabi sa friendship nya sa loob ng kanilang mahabang panahon na pagsasama dahil baka daw maapektuhan ang pakikipagkaibigan at iwasan sya. Yung tipong pag may kasama si friendship na iba, nagseselos na wala naman sa lugar, pero syempre wag pahalata, kunyari happy sya for friendship. ABA! Oi lakasan mo ang loob at baka mamaya forever mong pagsisihan yan kaw rin. Minsan pa naman pareho kayong naghihintayan.. hmmp!

7. Born-to-be-one (Authestic)

Eto yung nasa palad na ang pagiging single daw. Walang reasons. Basta lang nabuhay sya sa mundo na mag-isa at feeling nya mamatay sya sa mundo ng mag-isa. Kesyo magmamadre o magpapari na lang. Asa kang tatanggapin ka pa noh!

6. Happy-go-lucky

Eto yung taong walang alam kundi kasiyahan at trippings. Kahit sino nalang basta no string attach. For fun lang daw... Walang halong seryosohan. ABA hoy! yang init ng katawan mo e ikiskis mo nalang sa pader. Makakahanap ka rin ng katapat mo!!!

5. Wrong Place

May nakaranas na ba nito? Yung pakiramdam mo nasa ibang mundo ka. Yung ang nakakaharap mo e yung mga hindi mo gusto, yung mga hindi mo hinahanap. Alam mo yun Halimbawa nasa ibang bansa ka, pero ang hinahanap mo e yung amoy ng nasa sariling bayan mo. O kaya naman e nasa sarili mong bayan ka, nasa normal na lipunan, pero ikaw ang abnormal at hindi mo kayang sabihin na abnormal din ang hanap mo kung ayaw mong ibitin ka nila ng patiwarik.

4. Wrong Time

Eto yung mga tao na sinasabi na, hindi pa ako ready e bata pa kasi ako o kaya naman hindi pa ako handa sa panahong ito, wala pa ako kayang ipagmalaki. Yes meron pong ganyan. Yung feeling nila may tamang panahon para sa love. Awwwwwww. Aba kelan yun? Pag uugod ugod ka na at yung time mo e bitin na? O baka naman pag pang out of time ka na? Oist, sugod lang ng sugod.

3. Si parents kasi¦

Yes, factor din ang komyunidad na ginagalawan mo. Una, ayaw pa ni mader o pader na magkaron ka kahit 22 anyos ka na at kelangan umabot ka muna raw ng 40 bago magkaroon ng gf/bf. O kaya naman ikaw mismo! Takot sa sasabihin ni parents at ni kapitbahay na tsismosa sa magiging kasama mo. Aba ikaw na nga ba ang sabihan na.. Alam mo hindi kayo bagay. langit at lupa kayo. Awwwww. Payo ko sayo, Pakialam nila diba? Palibhasa inggit!

2. Traumatic Experience

Eto kalimitan ang reason ng marami. Ayaw ko na!!! takot na ako mangyari pa ang nangyari dati! O diba ang drama ng layp? Yes, tama ka. Eto yung dahil sa past relationship mo, e until na ayaw mo ng magkaroon at sinumpa mo na ata ang magmahal. Dahil sa pinagpalit ka sa mas pangit, o kaya naman iniwan ka ng walang word na bye-bye, o dahil binugbog ka!, ano pa ba? Madami yan wag na nating isa isahin at baka tumulo si tears heheh Gayunpaman, eto lang masasabi ko mga hija at hijo. Ibat iba ang lasa ng pag-ibig. May mapait, may mapakla, may matamis at may maasim. Aba mapalad ka at natikman mo ang ibat ibang lasa nito. Kaya ikaw, Do not be afraid to fall in love again malay mo sweetiness na ang malasahin mo next time. E di panalo ka sa lotto. Yan ang nagpapalakas sayo¦ Yang ang bumubuhay sayo, ang pag-ibig. tsk! drama!

1. EX to the nth power

Oi aminin!!! LOVE parin si Ex kahit 1 or 2 yrs na ang nakakalipas. May ganito naman. Yung tipong ilang taon ang nakakalipas, hindi parin makalimutan si ex. Yung pinagsamahan, yung tawanan, yung iyakan, at lahat ng nangyari sa inyo nung kayo pa. Malungkot man at sa kung anumang kadahilanan, maganda man o masama ito, kelangan nyong magpaalam sa isa't isa. YES, after ay year sasabihin natin, im over him/her na, pero pag-usapan natin ang love at ang nangyari sa ating relastionship from the past, TADANNNNNNNNNNNNN, eto na, sya agad ang naalala mo. At habang nagkukwento ka, ouch may kirot, o kaya may ngiti at may bumabagabag sa ating kalooban. Ano kaya yun? AMININ mo na kasi MAHAL mo pa si EX. Isa lang ang masasabi ko, well mahirap sya kalimutan alam ko yan pero open your heart and makipagdate ka, lumabas ka, at try to entertain someone. Wag mo ikumpara si ex sa iba. At give urself KITKAT, take a break.

Just a thought...

2006-08-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

My daily Mantra:

God iss here with me, everything will be just fine.
Everything will be just fine, the best is yet to come.

and a new addition to my daily Mantra:

God please give me the strength to go on.

For days now I've been feeling agitated over something I don't even know. I'm on the brink on going crazy... err.. as if I'm still sane... *sigh* It feels like I'm gonna break into pieces anytime soon and when that happens don't be surprise. Because when that day comes maybe I'll feel a 'lil bit better. Actually, it's been very hard lately, and it's as if I'm loosing me. I'm still optimistic, though there were times hopelesness gets into my system... Blame it all on school, on IMC, stupid professors, the government,the weather, everything!!... *sigh* I miss the sun, I miss the moon, I miss my night outs with friends, I miss having time for myself.

Announcement!!

2006-08-13T11:35:00.000+08:00

Drinking cold water after meal = Cancer!
(this is not a joke)

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.
It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal.
However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed.
It will slow down the digestion.

Once this "sludge" reacted with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food.
It will line the intestine.

Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer.
It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A Serious note about Heart Attacks

HEART ATTACK PROCEDURE": (THIS IS NOT A JOKE!)

Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting.
Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.
Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.
60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep.
Let's be careful and be aware.
The more we know, the better chance we could survive...

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10
people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.
Read this..... It could save your life!!

Let's say it's 6.15 pm and you're driving home .

Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out
into your arm and up into your jaw.
You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home.
Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far.
You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you
how to perform it on yourself.

"HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE":

Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help,
the person whose heart is beating
improperly and who begins to feel faint,
has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.
A deep breath should be taken before each cough,
deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.
A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds
without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze
the heart and keep the blood circulating The squeezing pressure on the heart
also helps it regain normal rhythm.
In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many
other people as possible about this.
It could save their lives!! "

**PLEASE BE A "TRUE" FRIEND
AND SEND THIS ARTICLE
TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
YOU CARE ABOUT.

(Helth, Retrieved Aug. 13, 2006 from yahoomail)