And The American Idol Is..

It's no surprise that Carrie Underwood became the 4th American Idol. I'm not a big fan of hers but well, she did her best though sometimes some of her performances seem bland. But she's been consistent throughout the competition. So I guess she deserves it. Though at the back of my mind I'm screaming, that Bo should've been the next American Idol.

JESSIE'S ULTIMATE JOKES

Here are some of Jesse's corny but funny jokes.. hahahaha..

JESSIE- Anong Puno ang hindi pwedeng Akyatin?
LUIGI- Meron ba nun? Ano?
JESSIE- Eh di yung PUNONG NAKATUMBA!

JESSIE- Paano mo malalaman na babae o lalaki ang nasa loob ng C.R?
LUIGI- Paano?
JESSIE- Eh di hintayin mong lumabas!

JESSIE-Anong pwedeng gawin sa Gabi ang di pwedeng gawin sa Umaga?
LUIGI-Ano?
JESSIE-Eh di ang MAG-PUYAT!

JESSIE- May Joke ako Justine!
JUSTINE- Ano nanaman yan? Baka Corny Joke nanaman yan.
JESSIE- Tungkol ito sa Koneho at Pagong......
JUSTINE- Nakwento mo na yan ha?
JESSIE- Basta makinig ka na lang, isang araw nag-kakarehan si koneho at pagong, as usual nauunahan nanaman ng koneho ang pagong, bagamat nahuhuli si pagong ay pinipilit pa rin nya humabol sa mabilis na kuneho, nang may makita sya na isang suso, kamusta ka na suso?, ang bati ni PAGONG, mabuti naman, ang tugon ni SUSO, sumakay ka na sa likod ko ang alok ng pagong, o sige.Di kalayuan eh nakita din ng PAGONG ang isang BULATE, Kamusta ka na BULATE, Bati ng PAGONG, Mabuti naman, tugon ng BULATE, gusto mo sumakay ka na sa likod ko, Alok ng PAGONG, O sige.
JUSTINE- Ano ba yan Reunion ng mga Insekto?
JESSIE - Basta makinig ka na lang. Yun na nga humabol ng Humabol ang PAGONG sa Kuneho habang Sakay nito ang BULATE at SUSO, Alam mo ba kung no ang sinabi ng SUSO sa BULATE habang tumatakbo ang PAGONG?
JUSTINE- Ano?
JESSIE- Bulate kumapit ka lang masyadong mabilis ang pagong!!

JESSIE- May JOKE ulit ako.
JUSTINE- Ano?
JESSIE- Anong isda ang maka-sarili?
JUSTINE- Ano nanaman yun?
JESSIE- Eh di SELFISH!!

When We Were Little..

Another one from friendster.. the pink ones are just my comments.. hehehe..


Mga Ragnadiks na future R.O.S.E. players. Gumigising lang ng madaling araw para mag Ragnadahil 3x ngayon at naghahabol ka ng deadline dahil 3 levels nalang 99 ka na.... Ito ba trip ngkabataan ngayon? Eh ano kaya trip ng kabataannoong unang panahon?
*I was once a ragnadik.. hehehehe.. wla lng..

--> nagpipitpit ng gumamela para gawing soapybubbles na hihipanmo sa binilog na tanggkay ngwalistingting?
*hehehe.. i was once one of those kids who gather gumamela flowers and leaves to make bubbles.. but we use kamias stem.. instead of walistingting..

--> pinipilit ka ba matulog ng nanay mo pag hapon at di ka papayagan maglaro pag di ka natulog?
*my lola was the one who forces me to take a siesta, hehehe.. and even though i don't go to sleep.. she still lets me play with my playmates..

--> marunong ka magpatintero, saksak puso,langit-lupa, teleber-teleber, luksong tinik?
*YES!! I know all those games!! hehehe..

--> malupit ka pag meron kang atari, familycomputeror nes?
*we don't have those.. because back then i' rather play outside with some friends..

-->alam mo ang silbi ng up, up, down, down, left,right, left, right, a, b, a, b, start?
*nope.. me don't know that..

--> may mga damit ka na U.S.E.D., Boy London,Cross Colors, Esprit, Blowing Bubbles at pagnakakakitaka ng Bench na damit eh naalala mo si RichardGomez?
*hmmm.. i can't remember if i had those clothes..

--> addict ka sa rainbow brite, carebears, my littlepony, thundercats, bioman, voltes v, mazinger z,daimos,he-man at marami pang cartoons na hindi patranslated sa tagalog?
*hahahaha!! I had watched all of that except thundercats? what's thundercats anyway?

--> nanonood ka ng shaider kasi nabobosohan mosiannie at type na type mo ang puting panty nya?
*hahaha!! i love watching shaider but not because of annie.. hehehe.. annie kinda looks like harlene bautista doesn't she?

--> marunong ka mag wordstar at nakahawak ka natalaga ng 5.25 na floppy disk?
*what's wordstar?

--> inaabangan mo lagi ang batibot at akala momagkakatuluyan si kuya bodgie at ate sienna...nung high school ka inaabangan mo lagi beverlyhills 90210?
*hahahah!! I LOVE BATIBOT!! hahaha!! yes.. i'm one of those who thought that kuya bodgie and ate sienna are real life honeys.. hehehe.. i also remember ate isay and pong pagong and my favorite kiko matsing!!

--> gumagamit ka ng AQUANET para pataasin angbangs mo?
*aquanet? is that some kind of a spraynet?

-->meron kang blouse na may padding kung babaeka at meron kang sapatos na mighty kid kunglalake ka?
*blouse with pads? hahahaha!!

--> nangongolekta ka ng paper stationaries atmahiligka magpapirma sa slumbook mo para langmalaman mo kung sino ang crush ng type mo?
*yup.. i collected paper stationaries before when i was in grade school.. and i just love signing slumbooks..

--> kilala mo si manang bola at ang sitsiritsitgirls? Eh, si luning-ning at luging-ging?
*hahahaha!! they're from batiboy right?

--> alam mo ibig sabihin ng time space warp at dimomakakalimutan ang time space warp chant?
*hahahaha!! that's from shaider.. shigishigi uwa.. hahaha!! they're chant goes like that!!

--> idol mo si McGyver at nanonood kang perfectstrangers?
*i know mcgyver but not perfect strangers..

--> eto malupet... six digits! lang ba ang phonenumber nyo dati?
*hahahaha!!

--> nakakatawag ka pa sa pay phone ng 3bentesingko lang ang dala?
* i don't recall calling through pay phones back then..

--> cute pa si aiza seguerra sa eat bulaga at alammoang song na "eh kasi bata"?
*i know that song!! eh kasi bata!! eh kasi bata is also a show right?

--> inabutan mo ba na ang Magnolia Chocolait ehnasa glass bottle pa na ginagawang lalagyan ngtubig ngnanay mo sa ref?
*hmmm...

--> meron kang pencil case na maramingcompartmentsna pinagyayabang mo sa mga kaklase mo?
*hahaha!! do they still sell those kinds of pencil case?

--> noon mo pa hinahanap kung saan ang GoyaFunFactory? (hanggang ngayon, hinahanap ko pa rinsya)
*goya fun factory hehehehe.. they still sell chocolates huh?!

--> alam mo lyrics ng "tinapang bangus" at"alagang-alaga namin si puti"?
*i don't know the lyrics...

--> alam mo ang kantang "gloria labandera"..lumusong sha sa tubig ang paa ay nabasa atang "1, 2, 3,asawa ni marie"... hehehehehe?
*hahahaha!! know those songs!! hahaha!!

--> sosyal ka pag may play-doh ka at Lego... atnag-iipon ka ng G.I. Joe action figures at iba paang mukha ni barbie noon?
*my parents gave me a lego for christmas.. and i still have it.. hahaha!! but they never bought me play-doh..

--> inabutan mo pa yung singkong kortengbulaklakatyung diyes na square?
*yes!! i still have those old coins hidden somewhere with my old alkansyas..

--> lumaki kang bobo dahil ang akala monangangagattalaga ang alimango sa kantang tong-tong-tong...diba naninipit yun?
*no one told me that alimango's bite.. when i was little.. all i know is that naninipit sila..

--> alam mo yung kwento ng pari na binigyan ngperayung batang umakyat ng puno para bumili ngpanty... and shempre, alam mo rin ba kung anobinigay nya sa nanay nung umakyat ng puno?
*hehehehe.. i can't remember this one..

--> meron kang kabisadong kanta ni andrew e naalam mo hanggang ngayon.. aminin?
*humanap ka ng panget.. hehehe.. they also made a movie with that title starring jimmy santos, andrew e., nanette medved, and sharon cuneta.. hehehe..

--> laging lampin ang sinasapin sa likod mo pagpinapawisan ka?
*yes.. hahaha!! those lampins!! i wonder where are those placed and kept?

--> bumibili ka ng tarzan, texas at bazooka bubblegum... tira-tira, at yung kending bilog nasinawsaw sa asukal? (wow, sarap)
*i still buy bazooka bubblegum but i don't know tarzan and texas and tira-tira and that kending bilog.. but i do know tora-tora..

--> kinukupit mo pa at nanonood ka ng mga pornotapes ng tatay mo na nasa BETAMAX format pa...atsanay ka tawagin ang porni as BOLD?
*what!!!!!??? i never and will not even try to watch those stuffs!! besides we never had a betamax player..

--> takot ka dumating ang year 2000 dahil sabi nlamagugunaw daw ang mundo?
*nope.. i'm more afraid of the y2k bug.. hehehe..

KUNG ALAM MO LAHAT DITO LAGPAS KA NANG 25 YEARS OLD...KAPAG HALOS LAHAT ALAM MO, NASA 23-25KA...WAG KA NA MAG DENY..

TUMAWA KA NALANG... DI BA, 0.75 CENTAVOS PA LANGPAMASAHE SA JEEPNUN AT MAS MASARAP ANG MELLOWYELLOW KESAMOUNTAIN DEW? HAHAHAHAPASALUBONG KO HA!!!!! TANDA NA NATIN!!
*what's mellowyellow? is that some kind of a drink/soda? hmmm.. i wonder why they stopped manufacturing fanta..

SUMMER

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.

Ahhh... summer... what power you have to make us suffer and love it...

IPIS EVERYWHERE

A good sleep means ever so much especially for someone who spend most of sleeping time, laying awake, staring at the ceiling, and waiting for the Sandman to visit. So finally, after a long wait for what seem like eternity Mr. Sandman finally decided its time for the forty winks... so he ever so softly sprinkled the moon dust in my eyes, and after awhile I found myself in dream land. Aaahhhh.. what pleasure it is to be finally sleeping...

But after two measly hour of sleep, I found myself awake again due to the piercing heat of the summer season. So instinctively I went to the fridge to get an ice cold drink. But before I went back to my room I noticed that the light in the room of my lola and brother is turned on. Noticing that my lola is not totally asleep, I asked her if she would want me to turn the lights off, so she can sleep easily, but she said no, because cockroaches comes out when the light's out. Well I didn’t payed much attention about what she said because I want to go back to sleep. So when I was finally laying on my bed again, I quickly dozed off. But after a minute or two, I found myself awake again!!

Why?! Because of those freaking cockroaches!! Stupid, stupid disgusting cockroaches!! They're everywhere!! I even saw my uncle swatting and killing those disgusting creatures because they’re crawling all over him whenever he lay down. I was just thankful that cockroaches are not trying to venture on my bed because if they do I’ll definitely freak out. When I thought I was safe, I was proven wrong. I saw a cockroach on my cousin's bag!! So I tried killing it, but i failed miserably!! It went flying to my bed!! Arrrggghh!! To my horror it crawled to my pillows!! So there I jumped up and down on the bed hysterically hoping that it will go away, and when it did I still can’t relax. I fear that the cockroach will come back and bite me. What's up up with those cockroaches anyway?! Coming out at the bewitching hour like that?! Is it because of the heat?! Well that I hope won't ever happen again!! Beacause I hate cocroaches!!

So there I spend another hour awake, contibually fearing that the cockroach will come back with a vengeance.

So I just lay there, waiting for Mr. Sandman again...

Scientific Terms

I got this from friendster...

1. Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minific.
ANS: *twinkle twinkle little star.

2. Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.
ANS: *birds of the same feather flock together

3. Surveillance should precede any vertical movement.
ANS: Look before you leap

4. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
ANS: Beautity is only skin deep

5. It is fruitless to become precipitately from departed lacteal fluid.
ANS: Don't cry over spilt milk

6. Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.
ANS: Cleanliness is next to Godliness

7. The stylus is more potent than the claymore.
ANS: The pen is mightier than the sword.

8. It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.
ANS: you can't teach old dogs new tricks

9. Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.
ANS: Spare the rod and spoil the child

10. The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremitting ogled saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
ANS: a watched pot never boils

11. All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not trulyauriferous.
ANS: all that glitters is not gold.

12. Where there are visible vapors having their prevalence in ignitedcarbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.
ANS: When there is smoke there is fire.

13. Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
ANS: Beggars cant be choosers

14. A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniquesvitiate the potable concoction produced by steeping certaincomestibles.
ANS: Too many cooks spoils the broth

15. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.
ANS: Charity begins at home

16. Cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony.
ANS* Dead men tell no tales

17. Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would beadvised to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles.
ANS People who live in glass houses should not throw stones

18. Neophyte's serendipity.
ANS* Beginner's Luck

19. Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes ofhedonistic diversion renders him a hebetudinous fellow.
ANS: All work and no play makes him a dull boy

20. A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of asmall, green bryophitic plant.
ANSL Rolling stones gather no moss

21. The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses therebythe optimal cachinnation.
ANS: he who laugh's last, laugh's best

22. Abstention from any aleatory undertakings precludes a potentialescalation of a lucrative nature.
ANS: Nothing ventured nothing gained

23. Missiles of ligneous or petrous consistency have the potential offracturing my osseous structure, but appellations will eternally remain innocuous.
ANS: Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurtme

24. Persons of imbecilic mentality divagate in parameters which cherubic entities approach with trepidation.
ANS: Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

25. Elementary sartorial techniques initially applied precluderepetitive similar actions to the square of 3.
ANS: A stitch in time saves nine.

26. A feline donning appendage-protecting accessories apprehends zero petite rodents.
ANS: A kitten in mittens catches no mice

27. Desist from enumerating your fowl prior to their emergence fromthe prenatal ovoid structure.
ANS Do not count your chickens before they hatch

28. It is practicable to entice an equus caballus to a reservoir ofliquid hydrogen oxide, but coercing him to imbibe is insuperable.
ANS: You can lead the horse to the water but you can not make himdrink

29. Upon the non-presence of the domestic felis catus the mus musculiproceed to engage in sportive capers.
ANS* While the cat is away the mouse will play

30. Numerous manipulative extremities enable imperceptablenecessitous engagement.

31. A buffoon and his accumulation of legal tender are expeditiouslydisunited.
ANS: A fool and his money are easlily parted

32. Persons indulging in jocundity tardily do so for the greatestduration.
ANS: He who laughs last, lasts longest

33. Exigency is the matriarch of ingenious contrivance.
ANS* Necessity is the mother of invention

34. Eschew obfuscation!
ANS* Avoid Confusion

35. Hemoglobin is viscous in correlation to Dihydrogen Oxide
ANS* Blood is thicker than water


36. Incongruents Magnetize
ANS* Opposites Attract