Just ranting

Paranoia is kicking in again. 

It's because I'm liking something right now and I'm afraid that it'll be taken away abruptly. I know this is the paranoid me thinking. And I've been paranoid since I can remember. I don't wnt to be like this. It really makes me restless.

For my peace of mind, I'll try my hardest to be more positive.God is good, always. 

Pet hate...

I'm a complainer by nature. Complaining and ranting relieves me from stress somehow. It's like an outlet, a channel through which I can let out all of my frustrations and hang ups in life. So it's no surprise that I have so many pet peeves. From the most mundane things to the more serious ones. Below are some of my pet peeves.

1. Mispelling of my name. I know my whole name is so hard to pronounce much more to spell. I don't know why but i really can't stop myself from telling people to spell my name with double 'n'. Strange but if people spell my name as Merlynjer, it's not as bad when people spell one of my nick names Merlynn with single 'n'.
2. People spitting anywhere and when ever they need to. I really cringe when I see people spit on the streets or any public areas. It's so unhygienic. Argh.
3. It really ticks me off when my brother doesn't return my books where he got it. I'm a bookworm and i treasure my books. So I don't like it when I see one of my books littering around our house.
4. Walking while it's raining. Main reason why I hate it is because of the idea of contacting all the dirt and germs on the wet road.
5. When people wake me up by screaming. It really makes me grumpy and angry in the morning.

Those are just some of my pet peeves. And I really get irritated easily so the list goes on and on.

All by myself....

When i was younger i used to abhor the idea of eating alone in any restaurant. The idea itself was so repulsive that I really can't see myself alone, eating in one corner with no one to talk to. Eating alone would mean that you're a loner with no friends and you look kawawa all by yourself. But as years go by and as I get older, I realized that eating alone is not as bad as I think it would be. I discovered that eating alone can be liberating. It's like shedding your dependent side and it shows that you are not afraid to be alone. That being alone is okay and you don't need other people to get by. I'm not saying that we don't need other people because I also belive that no man is an island. But in life people need to learn how to be all by themselves.

Recently I had this conversation with a friend. She told me that people eating alone looks like an "abnoy" (weird) person. Of course I told her that eating alone is not as bad as she think it was. It's just that she's so concious with her surrounding that a passing glance from someone would mean so many different things for her. When I was younger I'd be so concious when other people would look or spare a glance at me. I would feel like there was something wrong with me or if I have dirt on my face. It's really uncomfortable when other people and strangers look at you. But one day I just stopped caring if other people were looking at me. It just happened. I woke up one day and I couldn't care less if I'm all alone in one corner eating by myself. I discovered that doing things on your own is not really that bad. It was like freeing yourself from you. I also realized that when I'm alone, I'm more at peace with everything around me. I can think things through without any influence from other people.

It takes time before one can get used to eating alone. Besides I'm such a foodie and i wouldn't pass up an opportunity to eat even if I'm alone.

from labidabs blog

Gaya-gaya from Lab's blog.
Source: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Recognition day

It's a late reaction but goodness! He was gone too soon.

I was a senior kindergarthen student when I first heard the song 'Heal the World' by Michael Jackson. It was the song we used for our SK graduation. Each student had a role to play while singing along with the song. Some students were playing doctors, teachers, nurse, poverty stricken people etc. I played as one of the poverty stricken people. Pulubi in other words. For our costume, our teacher instructed us to wear unruly clothes with holes and dirt. My grandmother prepared my costume and I was satisfied with it. Come graduation day, one of my fellow 'pulubi' classmate told me that I don't look like a pulubi. She continued saying that the holes in my costume looked like it was designed to look sosyal. Though my costume looked sosyal and it doesn't fit the part I'm supposed to portray, I still played my part with enthusiasm. I still remember how everything looked so white on the stage, students singing along the song and during that time heal the world was one of my favorite songs.

It's so sad that MJ's gone. He is an icon. And every time I hear his heal the world song, i can't help but remember fond memories of my kindergarthen days. I am not one of his fans but I can't help feeling this tremendous loss. I was also anticipating his comeback concert even though I will not be able to watch it.

It's really sad. He was gone too soon.