Hay...

What keeps me going?

I don't anymore.

I have to shake off this negative aura that's been surrounding me for the last few weeks. I have to cleanse myself and clear my mind. There's so many things going on that my brain and heart can't fully grasp the happenings around me.

I miss my old self. Saan na napunta yung batang laging nagsasabi na "Di si ___ ang magpapabagsak sa akin!" I miss me. The subtle fighter in me. The cheerful me. I want her back.

I had a chat with my colleague and she told me that instead of dwelling on the negative parts of my job, why shloudn't I do something to turn it around. And she's right! I had done that many times before in the past. But why am I finding it hard now? Well I just need to try my best. Stop thinking of the bad things that has not happened yet. Because the more you think about something, sometimes it becomes real. And I really want the best for every event. I don't want to give up. My mind tells me don't give up but my heart tells me otherwise. But since I am a logical person and emotion comes second, most likely I'll stay until I can finally go. I wonder when will that happen?

Basta aja!! go!! go!! go!! kaya ko to!! Ika nga ni Jasmin sa tagalized version ng My Girl, tira!! tira!!