xiuxianfushi

I'm not in my normal self for the past days. And I blame it all on stress!! I'm not that insomniac anymore but I still don't get enough sleep. It feels like my school works are chasing me day and night even in my sleep. And right now I'm drinking wine. Yes, I'm currently drinking a glass full of wine while trying to squeeze all the brain juices that's left in my head for a school work. Well anyway, this post was due yesterday, but let's just say that the lazy me emerged again yesterday. So here's my real post...
First of, I'm not a man hater!! And when I say I'm not, believe me cause I'm really not!! I think most of my friends especially my HS friends, think that I'm a man hater, though I don't blame for thinking such things. Just because I'm not one of their [men] biggest fan doesn't mean that I hate them. Hate is such a strong word and I definitely don't harbor that feeling for men. I think the reason why they see me as a man hater is because I generalized men as a a headache and problem to the whole population of women. There was a time in high school a classmate asked me why I don't have a crush or boyfriend and my answer was:
Men are created to give women headaches and problems, and I don't want such things...
And the mentality, that men are created to make women cry became part of my views, and now it's so hard to get that way of thinking out of my mind. Until now I'm trying to open my mind about men. Now I think that there are men who are made to please women, men who are created to love and cherish women and men who are simply here on earth to make women suffer. Can you call that progress in my part? I want to think so. At least now I don't see them as creatures who will only bring forth headaches and problem to women.
Now about the crushes... I did have crushes when I was in HS. Hard to believe? Well believe it. No they're not anime characters!! they're real men. The only problem is, that I'll only realize that I have a crush on him [who ever he is] is when I don't have a crush on him anymore. Weird right? I was in first year college when I realize that I had a crush on this certain batch mate. He's not one of the school's good looking boys, but I liked him because he's super nice. Sadly, the feeling is gone before I even realized my feelings for that certain someone. Well, see I have crushes... It's just that I don't talk about such things doesn't mean I don't have crushes.
Now let me tell the reasons why I don't have a boyfriend
First of all I'm still not that mature enough to be in a relationship
I don't want extra problems and headaches
I have so many things in mind right now and a boyfriend doesn't fit anywhere in my life at this moment
I love my freedom
At the moment I can't see myself being with someone
I want to finish my studies first and be successful before everything else
What really need right now is a servant, someone who will do all the things for me
So there... Labidabs, Ging I'm not a man hater it's just that a boyfriend or a man doesn't fit right now with my goals.