Randomness

Please, forgive the ranting...

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What keeps me going? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe it's pure instinct or the natural urge to move forward.

Keep going. That's the right thing to do. The road ahead is still very bleary. There are lamp posts, the moon and the stars to give sufficient light. But I want the sun. I long to see the sun.

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I hate it when people keep you out in the dark. It frustrates me to end argh!!

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Sometimes I feel so bored that I want to quit. But I can't so... guess I have to stay for a while.

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Miss school so much. Miss my classmates. Miss my professors. Miss everything in college

And the circus never left town

Why do I find it hard to believe the crying clown?

The lap dog bit his master.

The vultures and scavengers are waiting for the kill.

The ring master is at the center of it all.

Former ring masters simply can't stop themselves from joining the circus again.

People aren't exactly enjoying the show.

I wonder what' next?

Happy Shalala

Things that made me happy last March 9

1. Kenneth and Vea. They really made me laugh with their online radio show haha! Now I miss them even more.
2. People who greeted me happy birthday.
3. Hearing Mass
4. The little girl who reached out for my hand when we started singing the Lord's Prayer.
5. Slept for more than 5 hours woohoo!!

Hoping for a better year head! :D

Dream a dream

I dreamt of Pam and I suddenly miss her. I wonder how's she doing? I know she'll be fine. She's a strong woman. =)

Ako ay filipino

Grrr!! Eto ha napapansin niyo ba na tuwing may iniinterview sa isang lalaki/artist o sino mang sikat foreigner, eh laging may nagtatanong galing sa press people na "how do you find filipino women?" Pag naririnig ko yung tanong na yun umuusok talaga ang tenga ko at naniningkit ang mata ko sa asar. Bakit? Hindi ba parang were selling the filipino women pag ganoon? Tapos galit na galit tayo pag may site na tungkol sa mga mail order bride na mga filipina o kung ano man na derogatory tungkol mga filipinos. Tingin ko talaga walang dapat nagtatanong nun eh, kahit na walang intensyon na masama pag inisip mo ng mabuti yung tanong parang may ibang implication eh. Parang nagbebenta ka ng ano. Hmpf!! Kaya sana wala ng magtanong ng ganoon. At kung wala silang maisip na ibang tanong, wag na lang sila magtanong.

christmas carol

Am I too cynical to not believe that a person can fall for someone in a matter of days or at first glance? Well, come on! Love at first sight is for the romantics out there. How can you love someone at a mere sight? Can anyone enlighten me with that? Because I firmly believe that love at first sight in actuality is more on the physical level. But in certain circumstances, I admit, that there are people who fall hopelessly in love in a matter of days, a week perhaps. But still I believe that it's more on physical attraction. Or raging hormones or a case of momentary insanity.

Grabe am I such a love scrooge? Hindi naman siguro hehe...

snap.. snap..

Expect me to do something stupid this week. Hmpf!!

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I'm trying to change for the better. I realized that I can't turn myself around within a day. So I need to take one day at a time.

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Waiting prolongs agony. I can wait, I know I can. But sometimes I wonder if its all worth it. My stubbornness is one of the reason why I am still waiting. But the main reason why I want to wait is because I'm really hoping that one day I can have it(well kung ano man yung hinihintay ko akin na lang yun). Though there is no guarantee that I can have it. Still, I'm crossing my fingers.

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Grabe every time I'm with Cathrine laughtrip talaga haha!! We've spent half the day laughing haha. Here's one of our picture from our escapade yesterday

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Beauty is synonymous to perfection. Therefore there is no beauty in this world. Only God is beautiful.

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I tried playing virtual villagers but I got bored o I resumed my reading of yet another romance novel.

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Who is Kapitan Basa? Well character siya sa children's show dati na Batibot na super favorite ko haha!! But last monday someone told me na he's the puppet counting numbers. I was confused by that information. Kasi all the while I thought he read stories, so I said to Cathrine "di ba nagbabasa siya ng libro? kaya nga Kapitan Basa?" If I remember it correctly Cathrine replied "eh gusto ko siya magbilang eh. 1 haha!! 2 haha!!" I laughed at what she said haha!! Si Count pala ng Sesame Street na sa isip niya haha!! Ayun tawa kami ng tawa habang naglalakad haha!!

A mix of everything

I suddenly remembered Ariane because of the name Ben haha!! Then I also remembered a song mentioning the name Ben haha!! I think its a Jackson Five song haha!!

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Grabe its been raining for almost a week na. I hope within two days the storm is already out of the country. Hay... Even though I like the cold weather, rainy days make me feel somewhat sad because I can't do anything other than stay at home.

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I feel hopeless. And there's no one to blame but me. It's my own doing and I have to face this on my own. Tama si Labs, I don't need someone to whack me in the head because I already know what to do yet I'm not doing anything.

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I'm craving for maki again haha!!

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Yesterday I took the IPIP-NEO Five Factor Personality Test. The result mostly said that I am average but I have a low morality(it doesn't mean daw na I don't have principles its just that I'm always on guard daw). I forgot other things that the result said eh, pero most of it is true haha!! Or should I say accurate haha!!.

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Good morning

Grabe ang pangit ng gising ko kanina. Ang bigat ng feeling, sumasakit sikmura ko tapos parang kumikirot yung gums ko. Argh!! Ang pangit talaga ng pakiramdam ko. Pati pagbabasa wala ako gana hay...

Sabel!! This must be love!! -Carmi Martin, Working Girls

I am so inlove with Nakatsu SHuichi!! He is such an adorable character haha!! Well anyone who had watched the recently concluded Hana Kimi Jdorama would undertsand. For me Ikuta Toma played the character very well. He made Nakatsu's character so lovable espeially when he's troubled because of what he felt for Mizuki. Haha!! I love the way he acts when he thinks. Very funny haha!! I love Nakatsu!! Yun lang...

Pick-A-Thought

I am my own enemy. I am in constant battle with my pride and everything else that comes with it. Complications arise when my pride gets the better of me. And oh boy!! What opportunities I had let slipped through my grasp because of that damn pride!! So boys and girls always remember that pride is one of the seven capital sins so don't fall prey to it. It might consume you without noticing it.

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Opportunity is always knocking at my door. And it is my choice whether to let it in, make it wait until it gets tired of waiting and leaves or immediately swing the door open and welcome it with glee. But expect a stupid girl like me to make Mr. Opportunity wait with the hope that I'll accept it with open arms but in the end it's either I'll shoo it away or tell lies just to get away from it. Many times I landed on a job despite competition. But I always find myself looking for a flaw or something to complain about the job. So in the end I say no at the job offer. See at what I'm doing with opportunity? I'm not proud of it really, and I hope Mr. opportunity won't get tired of me.

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I have this habbit of starting something and not finishing it. I am very fond of reading but in the span of three weeks I have read several books without really finishing it. Grrr!! I'm frustrated with my own self argh!!

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Ah!! Last tuesday Labidabs treated us at Pancake House for her birthday. Thanks Labs!! I really had fun. Now I miss you even more!!

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I can't believe Christmas is just around the corner. My Chritmas last year wasn't as great as our new year's celebration. I really hope that this year Christmas will be better.

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Again, for the past three week I had read two romance novel and I had noticed several things with the story elements. But I'll post those observation next time haha!!

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I suddenly remembered this guy haha!! I can't even remember his name or how me met but we were enjoying talking with one another until we were subtly flirting na. We were talking about food yata, he's a HRM student and he told me that it'll be a pleasure for him to cook for me. I can't remember the details of the things we had talked about. Basta the very thing that I remember about our coversation was what he said to me haha!! He said "kainin kita dyan eh". I told him "Di pwede no, unless kumakain ka ng kapwa tao mo" Haha!! Every time I remember what he said natatawa talaga ako bwahahaha!!

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As of this moment I am reading yet another novel haha!! multi-tasking at its best haha!! After reading five pages I realized that I don't like the Lorraine character and it's silly to be engage or be in a relationship with someone you don't trust. Hay naku...

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Who ever is the good soul who gave me a 135 worth of phone credit thank you. Haha!! Two days ago between 1:30-2 in the morning I found out that I have mysteriously acquired phone credits. But I think it came from my network service provider. I read na they're giving prepaid credits as a form of reward.

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Bwahahahaha!! I jut want to laugh wala lang haha!!

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Think positive

Just recently I realized that I was running in circles, stalling, procrastinating. I was leisurely passing time just for the hang of it. And it has to end sooner or later. I'm really feeling miserable right now. I'm having one of those moments again where I should feel glad but instead I want to scream and cry. I just want to cry but the tears won't fall out. And I'm scared. Scared of the big world I have to face. I really should/must stop wanting to turn back time and be a college student again. I'm the type of person who tends to hang on to something important for a very long time. And college life was a blast. And I really don't want to let go. But I have to.

From now on I'll try my best in everything. I don't want to be a disappointment. I want to have fun and be happy.

Emergency!!

Stop the press!!

Stop whatever it is that you're doing!!

There's a national crisis brewing...

Let us all kneel...

Kneel in front of the television and watch the blow-by-blow account of the two tv stations with the word war between two persons.

This is huge I say!! Huge!! This might change our lives as we know it.

Call the police, the MMDA, SSS, MTRCB, PCSO, the Disaster Coordinating Group, call everyone phuuuleeeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeee!!! We should stop the word war before other countries get involve. Oh!! The humanity!! What is it coming to?

Yes, what is it coming to? Especially with the people in this country. Instead of filing a petition for certiorari with the controversial human security act, some people wants the senate to investigate the scandal that had happened in a noon time show. After watching that on the news I thought "wala na bang magandang magawa ang mga tao ngayon at pati yun kailangan pang gawing national issue?" There are other things far more important that the senate should investigate, like the revival of the "Hello Garci Scandal" Uhhmmm... I understand that it is really important for most people to know whether or not the alleged cheating happened. But come on!! Is it really really that important? Let people handling media regulations and DTI(I guess) solve the problem. And let us all have a peaceful afternoon instead.

Nyak!!

Bye bye DSL!!

OO!! tatanggalin na DL namin. Bakit? Kasi di kami maawat sa pag gamit ng PC huhu... Kaya sa susunod baka mad dial-up na naman ulit kami. Kasi naman di ko maintindihan kung bakit *toooooooooooooooooot* Kung kailan *tooooooooooooooooooot* Asar!! Di ko alam kung ano ginagawa nila *tooooooooooooooot* Dapat nga ngayong *toooooooooooot* Di ba? Hay wala tayo magagawa ganyan talaga eh...

grrr..

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I just want to scream!! I'm starting to panic because I'm still a bum. And I really do want to work na. It's really hard to find a job that's related to my course nowadays. And I don't want to be a call center agent again. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDNNNNNEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Top 10

I just want to kill time and well, I decided to post a new entry. I really don't have much to share because currently my life revolves around teaching my little brother with his homeworks and helping him study for a test. Argh!! It's boring right? I really need to find a job soon. What was I gonna write about again? Oh!! I'm going to share random facts about me teehee..

1. Milo serves as milk for me. So when I can't sleep I drink Milo.


2. I eat fruits with salt. So even though it's a sweet one, I still partner it with salt


3. There's a certain shade of green that whenever I stare or see makes me wanna throw-up. And if I don't feel really really good, any shade of green will make me puke. That is if I stare long enough. Also, just last year I found out that staring at any shade of green while in a moving vehicle will make me feel sick.


4. I can't sleep alone.


5. I have lots of pillows.


6. I don't eat paksiw. I haven't tasted one and I will never taste one.


7. Even though I'm not really fond of fish, I actually like seafoods


8. Aside from sinigang na baboy my other favorite ulam/viand is ginataang hipon/alimasag


9. I eat alot but it doesn't show.


10. I'm a semi I repeat semi-man hater. Keyword:SEMI

trabajo

Still confuse. But I think I have an idea as to what I want to do. It's just that I don't know what's next if I ever work in that field. I'm still enjoying vacation but I need work.

The path

To think at this point I should already know what I want to do. But then again, it's me we're talking about so expect me to be confusing or procrastinating. I was in third year college when I decided/realized/knew that after graduation I will work at an advertising agency. I never really gave much thought about my career path back then or the other possibilities the 'working world' has to offer. It's just me working at an ad agency. Me in an ad agency. That's all I ever wanted two years ago. That's my plan A, B, C and so on. Again, it's me we're talking about so don't expect me to follow any plan. But one thing is for sure, I want to be filthy rich haha!! So after graduating I entered the call center world. Far from the ad ageny I dreamt about. But working in an ad ageny is always within reach. It's just that I treaded a different path. I still know my way though. After a month of working in a call center, I realized that I didn't graduate from a very good university with a bachelor's degree just to answer calls, so I resigned when the opportunity striked. Another job was offered to me even before I resigned from work. And at that moment I really wanted the job the company offered. When I have completed everything, passed the interview with flying colors and the third stage of application I suddenly felt that, that job is not for me. In the end I delined the job offer. And recently I decided not to go on with the final interview with an ad agnecy haha!! So can you see the pattern here? Haha!!

So based on my observation, I therefore conclude that:
1. Planning doesn't suit me.
2. I'm very fickle.
3. I'm confusing and confused with what I want to do.
4. I think I'm trying to escape reality that I already graduated.
5. I still don't know what I really want.

Twinkle, twinkle little star

Time's up!!

That's what I have been hearing at the back of my head. It's over. But I refuse to accept that just yet. Stubborn, I know that's just how I am. I want to scream and cry. I'm falling into that hole again. A hole where I find myself walking in and out. I just want to break through this void I created beause of fear. I want to break free.

Jingle Bells

I was reading something over the net describing a window. The description is simple yet I can picture the window in my mind vividly. The colors, the weather and the miniature display of little bears going about their work to prepare for Christmas. Then a sudden longing for Christmas washed over me. The feeling of lightness I feel every Christmas season was like a wave that suddenly toppled me over my seat. It's still halfway 'till Christmas but I want it to be now. The Christmas season gives me an easy and warm feeling. It's my most favorite time/season of the year.